For The Week Of 09/23/01
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more Jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your subwakeyion on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Two ladies are talking, one says to the other, how many boyfriend you got? The other says, I have 3 boyfriends. The first lady then asks so what are their names. Leroy, Leroy, and Leroy. Well if they are all named Leroy, how do you tell them apart? I got them all nicked named after soda pops. My first Leroy, his nickname is mountain dew, because when he mounts me he sure knows what to do. The second Leroy his nickname is 7up, because he has 7 inches and is always up. The third Leroy, his nickname is jack daniels. The first lady says, jack daniels that ain't no soda pop that's a hard liquor. Well, that's my Leroy.
SITES OF THE WEEK
Disco Bush - Boogey Bush.
Cd Fun - Try It at Home!!
Plastic Surgeon - Fix the Face!
Terrorist Organizations! -Around the World!
Wipe Your Ass - Wipe with Osma.
TIPS & TRICKS
Give a Loan to Yourself!
Need to float a loan to yourself for a few days? When you absolutely have to pay the rent, but your paycheck is several days off, and you know your account’s a few bucks low, you can get an interest-free loan from your neighborhood supermarket. Most grocery stores will allow you to write a check for cash up to $50. It will typically take two or three days for that check to reach your account, so all you have to do is write a $50 check every other day and deposit the cash directly into your account. I've gone as long as two weeks using this method.
ASK DOCTOR JD

Hey Doc JD,

Q: submitted by Ken

I've just started dating what can only be described as the perfect girl - she's cute, smart, horny as hell and never cliptin'. I've been on her tip forever, and just a couple of months ago I scored with her big time. She loves to fuck, and one night while we were going at it at her place, I paused to go take a whizz (sometimes I can't bust a nut with a full bladder - have you ever experienced this?) Anyhoozle, I'm walking to the bathroom in her bathrobe when her fucking mom walks in the door. It's just her and her mom living in the house, and her mom is really cool so no problem there...except I have a gargantuan hard-on from fucking the bejeezus out of her daughter. So her mom, recently divorced, is back from a night on the town and I have a raging boner in her living room...what does she do? As she walks by me and we exchange awkward small talk, she brushes my cock through the robe with her hand! I think "Oh shit, what an embarassing accident"...and she fucking turns around and gives me the sluttiest, hornball smile as she unzips her dress and closes her door. Now JD, my girl's mom is a TOTAL milf, and I'd LOVE to bang some experienced pussy that could appreciate a young stud like yours truly...it's been a longtime fantasy. however, I really like this girl and I don't want to fuck this up. Now every time I go over there I can swear that her mom is trying to get me alone or flirt with me, and I have a hard enough time trying to avoid POW (painfully obvious wood), let alone resisting her should she make an advance. I know this sounds like a dream cum true, but I don't want to get it on with my girl's mom if it means I'll fuck things up between us. What do I do? Do I tell my girl her mom wants to fuck me and risk her thinking I'm a fucking perv? Do I fuck her irresistable temptress of a mom and risk losing all? Do I confront her mom and risk looking like a jackhole? I'm caught between heaven and hell here, JD...if life were a porno I'd bang them both and splooge on their anxiously awaiting faces while the acid jazz blared in the background, but we both know life isn't like that - not mine anyway! help me!!!!

A:
KT it is ironic that this has happened to you because i too have faced this frustrating paradox (and the whole banging with a full bladder thing also). it is amazing how strikingly similar my experience was. i was hanging out with my girlfriend in the dad's tv room of her parents house (interestingly enough they didn't allow us to hang out in her bedroom because they were afraid of some hankee-pankee so they made us hang out there..i can not imagine how many football games the dad watched sitting on my jizz stains because of that rule) and the mom would always come to talk to us in a super thin cotton robe. no i did not get the brush against the jimmy like you did but she would constantly make "fuck me" eye contact and on many occasions would be bending over and you could see her tits just hanging there in full glory! not to mention this chik's mom was a super milf. now i suggest you tackle this problem the same way i did. reality: you can not bang your girlfriend's mom IF you care about girlfriend. if your girlfriend was a bitch i would tell you to can her and get your pipes cleaned by the mom..but it does not seem that such is the case. so what you need to do is have fun with it, lots of fun with it. what i would do is push the flirting to a whole new level. if she looks at you with "fuck me" eyes look at her back with "i'll bend you over and lick your asshole right now" eyes. if she wears something revealing walk around the house in some sport briefs while you still have morning wood. you have to remember..these women have an insatiable appetite for sex at this age and will more than welcome your flirting (unless of course they are getting rammed proper by a husband or boyfriend and in such a case will probably just look at you funny). where i really liked to turn it up was everyday chit-chat. i'd always get her talking about sexual stories and that would get us both really heated. now my ultimate plan was to get things so heated that we would end up doing some mutual masturbation so that i would be able to bust a nut with the mom but technically still be a good boyfriend because we never really touched. that is a hard plan to pull of when you are only 19...you just aren't polished yet. nonetheless these conversations were super fun and would get me so horny i would always end up banging the hell out of the daughter for a couple of hours. definitely not how a porno scene would go down but still super fun and you don't get your balls cut off at night by your girlfriend either.

-JD

 
clip OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


WAKE UP CALL!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "wakey.mpg" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "wakey.mpg" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


COURTESY CALL!


Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
A bulimic woman (25 years old, 5'4", 110 pounds, and SINGLE, fellas) was arrested in the Japanese city of Anjo last week, caught wet-handed illegally disposing of 66 pounds of garbage bags full of vomit. Over the past year, police have received over 40 reports of illicit dumpings of vomit in the area, totalling 1.2 TONS of regurgitated stinky fish and nasty black bean sauce Sanrio cookies. Someone mail this poor girl some laxatives.

 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the caption that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"only one weiner but so many rolls" -Peter
Runners-up
"Rub a Dub Dub three fat girls on a pud" -Darcy
"Old Polish recipe, add 1 sausage per 3 tubs of lard" -Dani

Archived Issues:
| 06-18-2001 | 06-25-2001 | 07-02-2001 | 07-09-2001 | 07-16-2001 |
| 07-23-2001 | 07-30-2001 | 08-06-2001 | 08-13-2001 | 08-20-2001 |
| 08-27-2001 | 09-03-2001 | 09-10-2001 | 09-17-2001 |




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