For The Week Of 10/01/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


Lil' Johnny is delivering newspapers. He knocks on a door, a lady answers, and he says, "Collect... thatll be five dollars." She says, "I'm a little short on cash, but if you want, I'll give you sex instead."Johnny says, "All right."

He walks in, she undoes his pants, pulls them down, and there's the biggest wanker she's ever seen...it's huge for such a small kid. Johnny reaches into his shirt pocket, pulls out a handful of huge washers, and starts sliding them onto his wanker.

She says, "You don't have to do that...I can take all of it." Johnny says, "Not for five bucks you can't."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Weird Al -White And Nerdy!
William Wonderful -Street Poet
Quad Ski -Great Vehicle
Wolverine's Claws -Make Your Own!
Bike Messengers-R On Crack
Stick Madness -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat..Parking Spots!
Next time you luck out with a good parking spot and want to keep it for good, adopt these simple measures to ensure a regular swift stroll from car seat to couch groove. Find five or six empty beer bottles—check under your pillow—arrange them in the front and middle of the spot (to allow for safe arrival and getaway) and smash the living hell out of 'em with a hammer. Make sure to demolish the glass pieces into tiny shards so they won't puncture your tires, but they still need to be visible. When other drivers see all the shards of strewn glass, they'll avoid the parking spot like your mother avoids underwear. I've kept free spots for weeks on end before some asshole inevitably out-glasses me and cleans up the mess. contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Mary
I don’t understand why some women enjoy anal sex. I find the deed absolutely revolting. Why do they think it’s so great?
A:
Well, there are several reasons, both psychological and physical. First, butt sex is taboo, and it excites many for that very reason. It’s the same reason people have sex in public or carry on affairs with someone else’s spouse: It gives them an erotic thrill to do something illicit. And in simple physical terms, anal sex just feels good—with sufficient relaxation, of course. The butt is packed (ahem) with nerve endings, all exceedingly sensitive to even the subtlest sensation, giving you more bang for your sexual butt…I mean, buck. And probably one of the best reasons I can think of that couples like anal sex is that it is very, very intimate. Pleasurable, painless anal sex requires trust and openness (OK, bad pun) on the part of the recipient as well as patience, understanding, and sensitivity on the part of the giver. Good communication—both verbal and non—is a must if it’s to be done right. In the end (hee), if you find backdoor loving utterly repugnant, you’re not going to enjoy it. Quit worrying about what other women like, and do what makes you feel good, or, forget your misgivings for a minute and open yourself up to new possibilities. You might just surprise yourself.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Wing Walker!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "movie.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "movie.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom "Saved by the Bell." But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape. Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us. We can't get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a "Dirty Sanchez." Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who has brokered some of Hollywood's biggest celebrity-skin deals, confirms that he's acquired the rights to a tape featuring Diamond. "Just when you think you have seen everything in this business," he tells us, "mankind has raised the bar another notch. Or lowered it." Schmidt is in L.A., shopping the tape to Hustler's Larry Flynt, Vivid's Steven Hirsch and other major distributors of adult video. Now age 29, the 6-foot Diamond is much brawnier than you may remember him. He's a black belt in karate, and, four years ago, he defeated Ron Palillo (Horshack on "Welcome Back, Kotter") on Fox's "Celebrity Boxing 2." Diamond's manager, Roger Paul, said his client has become a successful standup comic and will appear on the ABC sitcom "The Knights of Prosperity." "I haven't seen the tape," Paul told us. "I've heard rumors. Dustin has been trying to escape the Screech typecast. So this may help me get more bookings." In 1996, former "Saved by the Bell" sweetheart Elizabeth Berkley bared all in the Paul Verhoeven-Joe Eszterhas trashterpiece, "Show Girls." The sex vid's working title is "Saved by the Smell." Ewwwww.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Uneven match - snake versus beaver!"-RICK
Runners-up
"MOM IS THAT YOU?" -Chrissy
"The Day Gomez Met Morticia"-LK
"Get back in the car Farva!" -J



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