For The Week Of 09/27/2004
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A very successful lawyer parks his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he gets out, a truck passes too closely and completely rips off the door on the driver's side. The lawyer immediately grabs his cell phone, dials 911, and within minutes a policeman pulls up. Before the officer has a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer starts screaming hysterically that his Lexus, which he had just bought the day before, is now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it. When the lawyer finally calms down a bit, the officer shakes his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he says. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" asks the lawyer. The cop replies, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you." "My God!" screams the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
NFL Pudding Strike -A Friend's Noble Quest!
Smart Klamp -Sick..so Sick!
Trick Anything -Show With Potential!
Eco-Sphere -Cool
28 hour days -Why Not.
Drunk Walk -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Light Bulbs!
If you have to change a light bulb where the glass is broken, you can press a potato into the metal base to unscrew the remains of the bulb from the fixture.
ASK TINA

Q: submited by F
My wife experiences pain whenever we have, or attempt to have, sex. How can I help?

A:
There has to be a physical and/or psychological reason for her pain. If using plenty of lubricant and putting in the time and effort to get her sufficiently aroused (that means lots of loving foreplay) doesn't do the trick, then it's time to see a pro. To show that you really care about her health and her feelings, offer to go with her to the gynecologist. The doc will be able to rule out a physical problem. If it turns out to be a mental issue, suggest going to couples therapy. Imagine how you would feel if your willie didn't work - you'd need reassurance that she wasn't going to give up on you, right? So stay by her side and let her know you love her no matter what.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Training...WTF!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "motor.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "motor.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
JERUSALEM -- Greek Orthodox and Franciscan priests got into a fist fight Monday at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, Christianity's holiest shrine, after arguing over whether a door in the basilica should be closed during a procession. Dozens of people, including several Israeli police officers, were slightly hurt in the brawl at the shrine, built over the spot where tradition says Jesus was crucified and buried. Four priests were detained, police spokesman Shmulik Ben-Ruby said. Custody of the Church of the Holy Sepulcher is shared by several denominations that jealously guard territory and responsibilities under a fragile deal hammered out over the last centuries. Any perceived encroachment on one group's turf can lead to vicious feuds, sometimes lasting hundreds of years. Monday's fight broke out during a procession of hundreds of Greek Orthodox worshippers commemorating the 4th century pilgrimage by Helena, mother of Emperor Constantine, to Jerusalem. Tradition says that during the trip, Helena found the cross on which Jesus had been crucified. Church officials, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that at one point, the procession passed a Roman Catholic chapel, and priests from both sides started arguing over whether the door to the chapel should be open or closed. Club-wielding Israeli riot police broke up the fight, witnesses said. Afterward, the procession continued. Greek Orthodox priests, dressed in black robes and donning elaborate headdresses, marched out of the church as bells rang loudly. Carrying gold staves and roses, they marched through the church courtyard and down a narrow stone alley as Greek Orthodox Christians clapped and cheered. In 2003, Israeli police threatened to limit the number of worshippers allowed to attend an Easter ceremony if the denominations did not agree on who would lead the ceremony. Police brokered a last-minute deal and the ceremony passed peacefully. But a year earlier, the Greek patriarch and Armenian clergyman designated to enter the tomb exchanged blows after a dispute over who would be first to exit the chamber.
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"Alway's cover your ass at the gay pound!"-R
Runners-up
"Okay guys, who the hell spiked the toilet bowl"-J
"I need to get off my ass and call my bitch." -R



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