For The Week Of 09/29/2008
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die." As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?" "No!" she shrieked, aghast. So, he dropped her. As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked. "Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself. He dropped her, too. The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic. "Slut!" he said, and dropped her.

SITES OF THE WEEK
Share -Research papers!
Mix Tube -Playlists!
Buy My -Shit Pile!
Make Your Own -Post Cards!
Are They -Lying!
Crazy Japanese!-Game Of The Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
How To Open a Bottle With a Lighter
Step1: Hold the beer in your off-hand. (If you are right handed this means your left hand...duh). Step2: Grip the bottle so that your hand is almost slightly, but not quite touching the cap. Hold tightly. Step3: Place the blunt end of the lighter (opposite the flint) solidly between your lowest knuckle and the edge of the bottle cap. Hold the lighter perpendicular to the bottle. Step4: Tuck the lighter so that the edge is under the rim of the bottle cap. Squeeze tightly on the bottle and apply a little pressure on the lighter to make sure its wedged in between your knuckle and the cap. Step5: Use the lighter as a lever, pushing down on it as though you are wrapping it over your hand in the direction away from the bottle. Your finger should be thought of as the center part of a see-saw. Step6: With the right amount of pressure and leverage, you should be able to discharge the bottle cap with a loud "popping" report. Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by:Adam
I've had a strange growth on the underside of the shaft of my penis for more than a year. Itís like a little bump under the skin that you can slide the skin around, but it wonít move from its actual place. Iím not sexually active, so Iím wondering if this could have something to do with a vein or a bump in the shaft? How do I get rid of it?

A:
Adam, While I canít say for sure, it sounds like you have a sebaceous cyst on your shaft. Now, donít panic. The name may sound unpleasant and fatal, but I assure that if you do indeed have a sebaceous cyst on your penis, you have nothing to worry about. This is a sac containing a pasty-like secretion under the skin. It is usually painless, but it can occasionally become inflamed. It also has a tendency to leave a bruised-like appearance on the surface of the skin directly covering it. Usually, one of these cysts can just be ignored, but since it happens to be on you penis, I can imagine that it makes you feel very self-conscious. Talk to your physician for an accurate diagnosis and to discuss possible methods of removal.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Two Cute Chicks One Cool Trick
 
 
STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
IOWA CITY, Iowa - A hug has landed an Iowa City man in hot water. An Iowa City man who thought a police officer just "needed a hug" faces several charges including assault on a peace officer and public intoxication.Police say 21-year-old Luke Schreder was arrested on Saturday.According to police records, Schreder ran up to the officer and stuck out his arms. The officer told him to "get away," but Schreder didn't take the hint and embraced the officer. When the officer told Schreder to put his hands behind his head, he refused. He was then handcuffed.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

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This Weeks



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Winner
"What would happen if Sponge Bob and Kermit The Frog had kids." -Dave
Runners-up
"Oh my! What beautiful eyes you have!" -CB



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