For The Week Of 10/01/01
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more Jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your subcapion on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A nun was sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it." "When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder. "Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 280 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 10 yards." "Is that when you swore?" "No, Mother," says the nun. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away." "Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Mother Superior again. "Well, no," says the nun. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!" "Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed elder nun. "No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball." "Did you swear THEN?" asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient. "No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about six inches from the hole." The two nuns were silent for a moment. Then Mother Superior sighed and said, "You missed the f***ing putt, didn't you?"
SITES OF THE WEEK
Spy City - See Spy Images of Your city Through Satelites.
Play a Joke - Fake Web reports.
Bubble Fun - Virtual Bubble Wrap!!
Gangster Life - GoodFella Henery's site!
Pictures! -Take Your Own Web Pic!
Shooting Drill - How Good Are You.
TIPS & TRICKS
Dont Pay for Parking!
What kind of job is “meter maid,” anyway? Hold these candy-ass bloodsuckers at bay by keeping an old parking ticket in your glove box. In the event that you absolutely have to park in a fire lane, handicapped space or other “off limits” spot, take out your old unpaid parking ticket and place it on your windshield. Cops usually just notice that you have already been ticketed and roll on by. If they do check the authenticity of the ticket, they’re sure to appreciate your clever ruse, and give you a pass anyway.
ASK DOCTOR JD

Hey Doc JD,

Q: submitted by lili

I've been with my boyfriend for 2˝ years now, we met on the net and we talked on the phone and all. He moved from Florida to California and we've been together since my senior year in high school. ANYWAY...We've talked about getting married and such, the problem is, he's gonna go to the military next year. ANd he's told me that when he leaves, he wants our relationshiop to be put on hold. He says he wants me to date and see if he is what I really want. I feel bad, 'cause he's like set a date (not really, but it seems like it) when we're gonna seperate and I'm wondering what his real deal is....can you help me out?

A:
lili, it seems like he is using this as an excuse to get out of the relationship. if he wanted to keep the relationship going he would at least make an attempt to try a long distance relationship. i wouldn't try and talk someone out of the way they are feeling either. for one reason or another that is simply how they feel. BUT..let me tell you that this if for the BEST! you are way to young to be getting married. both you and your boyfriend should use this time to do your own thing and meet other people. if it was meant to be you guys will end up together when he gets back. now if you are feeling that he is the perfect guy and you are sad to see him go let me offer you another piece of advice. trust me when i tell you that there are more fish in the see for you...about 3 billion actually. unless your dad was in the military or the circus you have probably only lived in a handful of different places. not only is there another "perfect" guy out there for you...there are probably about 5,000 perfect guys out there for you. so don't sweat the break up. think about the good times you've had, date some other guys, live a little and find comfort in the fact that if it was meant to be you'll still end up together. you are young....HAVE FUN....and remember to always be an optimist! ;-)

-JD

 
Clip OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Why People Throw Rocks!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "cap.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "cap.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


COURTESY CALL!


Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Utah's Supreme Court made this recent rulling: Grabbing at one's private parts in public is an arrestable offense! The time-honored "yanking of the cock-n-balls" to show displeasure is apparently illegal in the state of Utah. You would think the residents would be too busy marrying each other, but no, Utah apparently has the time and resources to prosecute people expressing themselves. In September of 1998, a boring confrontation in a parking lot resulting in a teenager grabbing and shaking his crotch at a woman. A police officer who happened to witness the waggling incident arrested the boy. Utah Justice Michael Wilkins had this to say: "[The teenager] achieved the result of offending the victim by conveying the appearance of masturbation. It is precisely this type of conduct that the legislature intended to prohibit in enacting the statute." You heard the man: No yanking in public!

 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the caption that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"JD your salad is ready.." -jack
Runners-up
"IF YOU ITCH YOUR BUTT, YOU END UP WITH STINKY FINGER" -JEFF
"OK. Pay attention this time. THIS is my ass. NO ENTRY! If you can't see my face, just remember those words. NO ENTRY" -Tao

Archived Issues:
| 06-18-2001 | 06-25-2001 | 07-02-2001 | 07-09-2001 | 07-16-2001 |
| 07-23-2001 | 07-30-2001 | 08-06-2001 | 08-13-2001 | 08-20-2001 |
| 08-27-2001 | 09-03-2001 | 09-10-2001 | 09-17-2001 |09-23-2001 |




[ back to sublime main ]


Show your support..
Suggest SublimeTimes to a friend!

To (email address):
Your name: NOTE: Please put a name your friend will recognize