For The Week Of 10/03/2011
Happy with all the porn you are taking off Sublime… time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?" Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They're fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very closely: Are-my-test-results-back?"

SITES OF THE WEEK
The Art of -Google Books!
Draw a -Stickman!
WTF Japan -Seriously!
Samuel L -Lorem Ipsum!
Replace Face -Portraits!
K.O.L.M. 2 -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Get.com is a Q&A Site to Help You Find the Right Products

Get.com is a Q&A site for getting product recommendations from other people. You can ask things like "what's the best laptop under $1,000" or "what has your experience been with the Honda Civic?" It's a bit like Quora and other question and answer communities or tools, but dedicated to finding stuff to buy or use with categories ranging from electronics to parenting. Get is also similar to sites like Bestcovery and FindTheBest, but feels like it could be more community-oriented. (By the way, although you're prompted to sign up and connect with Twitter and Facebook, it's not necessary.) Another plus for the service: Get.com is easy to remember.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submitted by sg

I wanted to know the best time to use sex toys while having sex, or how to incorperate them into sex.

A:
If you want to use sextoys when having sex with your partner, it's a very good start. You can use it as a foreplay. I personally had alot of fun by using toys in the forplay.

When I was with a girl, I used different kind of toys all the time as we had sex (most of the time). As for the guy, he didn't like me using it on him, as much as he liked to use it on me. It's a very good idea to use them in foreplay, and to use it if the girl has a hard time cumming (use it to "finish" her off...). If you combine oral and a vibrator, you will score very high!

-Tina

AskmyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Pimped-Out Bike


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
HENDERSON, NE -- A flock/herd/ pack of animals is missing from several Henderson homes after being snatched in the middle of the night. The kidnappings took place in the early morning hours of Labor Day, Sept. 5, Henderson Police Chief Milan Mierau said. The animals are all well-loved lawn ornaments, with some of them residing on the same turf for many years. By Mierau’s count, there are three dogs, two pigs, one goose with two goslings, three deer and a little fisherman statue that are still missing. “They’re all concrete,” Mierau said. “Some of them are pretty heavy.”

Former Henderson Fire Chief Jim Epp’s dalmation dog that his wife, a fellow firefighter, gave him for Christmas last year is one of the missing. The dog had special meaning to them because they’re both on the fire department, he said. Ardith Epp’s two pigs had been members of the family almost as long as she can remember. They use to sit in the lawn when she and her family lived out on the farm and ran a hog operation. When the family moved to town, the pigs came too. As the seasons changed and the holidays came and went, Ardith had different outfits for the pigs to match the changing times. During the summer, they had little swimsuits to wear and when school started, they wore backpacks. There were outfits for Christmas, New Year’s and Halloween as well. “Any holiday or anything the kids had going on at school, they had an outfit for,” Ardith said. Sadly, when they were stolen, the pigs were quite bare with no clothes at all. “They were not wearing anything actually,” Ardith said. “They were in between costumes.”

The costumes that were up next for the pigs were little band hats to go along with the upcoming Harvest of Harmony Parade in October in Grand Island. Anyone with any information on the missing animals is asked to call the Henderson Police Department at 402-723-4811. The animals are all missed by their owners, Jim said. “We don’t care if you bring it back no questions asked,” he said. “Everyone would be tickled to death.”
 
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This Weeks



Last Weeks


Winner
"Hey guys check out this cool new mov..FFFFUUU" -Thom

Runner-up
"I feel like I'm doing this wrong...any suggestions?" -Gary J



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