For The Week Of 10/06/2003
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A medical student decided to study sexual dysfunction as his specialty. On his first day in the hospital, the chief doctor decided to show him around and to start teaching his new student about this area of medicine. As part of the training, the chief doctor decided to bring the student around to all the patients in his wing so the student could see firsthand some of the diseases. The doctor opened the first patient’s door and the student was stunned to see the patient masturbating The doctor explained that this patient had a rare sexual dysfunction that if he didn’t have an orgasm every five minutes, he would go into traumatic shock. The chief doctor proceeded to show the medical student different patients and carefully explained each problem so the student would understand well. Finally they came upon another room and when the doctor opened the door, the student was shocked to see a nurse performing oral sex on the patient. Confused, the student asked, “What disease does this man have?” “Oh,” said the doctor, “He has the same problem as the first patient, he just has a better health plan.”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Find Da Gspot -Practice
BlowJob Counter -Lucky Few!
We Want Your Soul! -Scary!
Farting Dots -Hours Of Family Fun!
Bird Flipping -History Of!
Pimple Squeeze -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Parking Lots!
Tired of having to park in the outer reaches of the mall, campus, or county courthouse and walk miles to your destination? Problem solved with this neat trick that saved me much time and unnecessary exercise during college. I always carried a four-inch-wide white roll of tape in my car, which came in handy whenever I arrived at a full parking lot. To make room for my ride, I simply pulled out the tape, went to the end of a row, and laid out a new set of lines—effectively adding a new parking spot on the end. Nine times out of 10, the local campus cops didn’t even look to see why the side alleys of the lots appeared smaller.
contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Jackie
My boyfriend always loses his stiffy when he tries to put on a condom. How can I help him?

A:
Your man is probably losing his “stiffy” because interrupting the action to roll on a rubber can decrease his excitement level. But if you make putting it on part of your routine, you'll be able to move seamlessly and sensually from foreplay to sex -- without him losing him. Before you get hot and heavy, unwrap the condom and place it and some water-based lube within easy reach for a smoother transition. When he's fully erect and ready to go, rub some lube on him. Then pinch the tip of the condom between two fingers to get the air out and place it on the head of his penis (leaving a little space at the tip to collect) with one hand as you roll it all the way down with your other hand. Once he's securely under wraps, add some more of the slick stuff to your hand and continue to stroke him up and down until he’s ready.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Safety Ladder!
 
 

to view clip: right click flash and choose "save target as" option. save the file "chicken.wnv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "chicken.wnv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
THE expanding backsides of sports fans are partly behind an increase in seat size at the new MCG northern stand. And cinemas, courts, pokies venues and even Parliament House have also bumped up seat sizes to accommodate bigger bottoms. MCG designers have allowed up to 30 per cent more space per patron; seats are 2cm wider and rows in the new stand have extra leg room. Melbourne Cricket Club secretary Stephen Gough said the bigger seats were prompted by larger bottoms and fussier patrons. "It's a reflection of people getting bigger . . . and demanding more space in their allocated area," he said. "It's about the comfort of patrons, giving them more room all round." Latest figures show that about 60 per cent of Australian adults are overweight, and the number of rotund rumps is rising steadily. A spokesman for leading seat supplier Camatic confirmed the MCG was one of many making room for plumper patrons. New bench seats installed in Parliament House recently were wider and more comfortable than the old ones, Camatic's operations director, Adam Fisher, said. Seats at Melbourne's new County Court were also more generous than at the old court complex, said architect Geraldine Maher of Daryl Jackson Interiors. "Generally people are getting bigger and designers are responding to that," Ms Maher said. Many Melbourne cinemas now have love-seats with lift-up arm rests that offer more room for movie-goers - and their love handles. Andrew Watkins, research manager for cinema recliner chair supplier Moran Australia, said the company was considering modifying the chairs to take even greater weights. "People are prepared to pay more for a generous depth and size; they want comfort," he said. Pomp hospitality furniture consultant Jennie Goble said pokies venues were quite particular about chairs. Most chose chairs without arms to avoid punters getting stuck or feeling restricted and uncomfortable. And over-sized sofas or lounge chairs were often chosen to ensure plenty of room. "The size of patrons is definitely a consideration," she said. But RMIT design expert Hendrikus Berkers said that venues had a long way to go to make the public happy. "Very few public places have comfortable seating . . . many things aren't designed for larger bodies," he said. "It's a problem, for sure."
 
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This Weeks



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"I thought I told you to stop pissin away your money"-Peter
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"damn it...I can't remember my PIN!"-Tool
"Well, At least the ATM wasn’t giving her the shits?”"-v64



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