For The Week Of 10/08/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


A young fellow ran into an old man who was carrying a bag.

"What's in the bag?" the youngster asked.

"magic apples", the old man replied.

"Prove it", said the young man.

"Well, besides apples, what is your favorite two fruits?" asked the old man.

"Watermelon and peaches", he answered.

The man handed him an apple and told him to try it out. The boy took a bite and said that it tasted like a watermelon. "OK, turn it over", he said.

The boy did and took another bite and said that it tasted like a peach.

The youngster still wasn't convinced that they were magic.

The old fellow told him to name something else that he liked to eat.

"I like to eat pussy." he snapped.

The man handed him another apple and told him to try it.

He took a big bite, spit it out, wiped his mouth and exclaimed, "That tasted like shit".

The old man looked at him, smiled and said, "Turn it over."

SITES OF THE WEEK
John Wilkes Booth -Original Wanted Poster
Daily Photo Project -Very Cool
Rubik's Cube -Make A Costume
Elevator Floor Illusion -Freaky
HOtties In Masks-Weird But Hot?
Code Red -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat....Coin Laundry Machines!
Short on coin, but long on tangy drawers? This ingenious bit works with older washers in which the quarters are loaded flat on a push tray. Tape the quarters down with thin scotch tape, push the tray in, and let loose a fiendish cackle (optional) as it registers as paid but doesn’t drop the quarters. We did this in an apartment building until they got wise and replaced the machine. I guess it wasn’t too hard to figure out when the machine had no money in it whatsoever. contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Mary
My girlfriend never shaves, and all I get are tumbleweeds. How can I convince her to?
A:
This is not an uncommon lament—from guys as well as girls. Let’s face it; if you wanted to munch on a hair patty, you’d go back to your grade school cafeteria. (Or at least to mine, which seemed to operate in the pre-hairnet era. Yick!) Of course, pube fashion is a matter of personal taste, so the topic could be sensitive. Improve your chances by using the old good-for-me-good-for-you approach. Say something like, “I love going downstairs, but would you mind clearing out the basement a little? It’ll make it easier to get at.” Of course, make sure you actually do go down on her. And, whatever you say, don’t make her feel bad or self-conscious about it. Saying something like, “Damn, baby, you got Buckwheat in a leg-lock?” will not help. Remember, too, that what’s good for the gander is good for your johnson. I guarantee she doesn’t enjoy tube steak dressed with hair relish.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Daily Show!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "movie.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "movie.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
DELRAY BEACH, Fla. -- A priest who allegedly misappropriated millions of dollars from a Delray Beach Catholic church told police he saw himself as the CEO of a multimillion-dollar company who wasn't properly compensated, according to a search warrant. Rev. John Skehan acknowledged misdirecting money from St. Vincent Ferrer Catholic Church when police arrested him on grand theft charges at Palm Beach International Airport last month, a warrant released Friday shows. Authorities charged Skehan and Rev. Francis Guinan with grand theft, alleging they stole more than $400,000 from the parish's donations. An audit conducted by the Diocese of Palm Beach alleges the pair misappropriated $8.7 million. Skehan is free on $400,000 bond. Guinan is in Australia, and authorities are negotiating with his attorney, David Roth, to have Guinan turn himself in to Florida authorities by the end of the month. "Skehan gave his opinion that he was never properly paid by the diocese, he was running a big business and getting nothing for it," the search warrant says. "He took what he had coming to him, as the diocese was cheap and never paid for his education." Skehan said he used some of the money to help other people, including a previous co-worker, whom he paid $675 a week because she allegedly had health issues, the warrant said. Skehan also told police that Guinan took money from the Easter collections, leaving bookkeepers with empty envelopes. Skehan also admitted setting up slush fund accounts, which were in place when Guinan took over as pastor. He told the church staff to create two sets of books to protect the actual amount of offertory money from the diocese because he was concerned it would take money from the church, the warrant said.
 
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This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Uneven match - snake versus beaver!"-RICK
Runners-up
"MOM IS THAT YOU?" -Chrissy
"The Day Gomez Met Morticia"-LK
"Get back in the car Farva!" -J



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