For The Week Of 10/08/2007
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

An old man goes to see the doctor and gets some tests. When the results come in, the doctor calls the old man in and says, "You'd better sit down. It's pretty bad." The old man, naturally, gets all nervous and asks, "What is it, Doc? Don't hold back -- just give it to me straight." "Well," says the doctor, "you have cancer and you have Alzheimers." The man replies, "Wow. Well, at least I don't have cancer."

SITES OF THE WEEK
6 Reasons -70's Killed us!
Sewer -Graffiti
Send a message -Optimus Prime!
Ten Worst! -Presentation Moments!
Very Cool -Optical Illusions!
Joust Game!-Game Of The Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
BREW IT UP!
Beer ... the great equalizer. From the rich and powerful to the poor and downtrodden, beer has been an important part of many civilizations for many, many years. Now ... you learn how to make your own. Instructions Difficulty: Moderately Easy Things You'll Need * Malt Extract * Specialty Grains * Hops * Yeast * Large cooking pot * Large food grade plastic bucket * Air lock * Empty sterile bottles * Bottle filler * Food grade plastic hosing * Caps * Caper Everything must be clean, so sanitize everything that will come into contact with the ingredients during the brewing process. This is a critical step because contamination at any point will lead to a spoiled batch of beer. Use a non-toxic cleaning supplies and hot water to disinfect your area. Now for the beer. Place your specialty grains into a mesh bag and place into your large cooking pot (at least 3 gallons). Steep the grain in 3 gallons of hot water for 30 minutes. Remove the bag of grain after 30 minutes and discard. Now add the malt extract and allow the water to boil. Next add the hops. Adding the hops early will give your beer more bitterness while adding them later in the process will give the beer more aroma. Once the ingredients have boiled the liquid is called 'wart' and it is what will undergo chemical transformation once the yeast is added. Allow the wart to cool and transfer into your fermenting bucket (plastic food grade bucket). Gently rock the liquid and create light splashing to get oxygen into the liquid (this will help the yeast later on). Now that you have the wort (strained of hops, etc) in your bucket, fill with water until you have 5 gallons to work with. Now the yeast can be added (make sure to activate them properly by stirring or rocking the bucket gently). Put a lid on the bucket and secure your air lock so carbon dioxide created during fermentation can be properly vented without allowing oxygen to spoil the process. The waiting game .... place the bucket in a dark corner and watch for bubbles to start escaping as a sign that the yeast have begun to convert the wort into alcohol. Once the airlock has stopped venting (after about a week) the fermentation is most likely completed. Now your ready to add priming sugar (dried malt extract) to your bottling bucket. Boil the sugar in a bit of water and add along with the wart to the final bucket. This process will carbonate your beer. Transfer the wart by using the clean plastic tubing as a siphon. It's time to bottle. Attach your bottling tubing to the bottling bucket spigot. Now press down on the bottle filler to start the siphoning process. Fill each bottle to just overflowing and remove the filler (this creates a good sized air space). Cap and move on to the next bottle. Once all the bottles are filled, store them for an additional week to let the final bit of fermentation take place. DRINK UP!!!
Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Josh
y girlfriend and I are deeply in love. She has been on the pill now for about four months, and, until recently, sex was very regular and phenomenal. During the last three weeks, she has complained of complete disinterest. When we talk about this, she says that it's not me and that I turn her on, she loves having sex with me, but she can't explain it. "It's just hormonal, I guess, honey" is the popular retort. There's nothing special about her menstruating times. Iím COMPLETELY lost on this one and would feel like a fool going to my physician on this subject.

A:
Letís assume your girlfriend is telling you the truth about still being turned on by youÖ If thatís the case, then I might suspect that her pill is causing the problem. Yes, the birth control pill is one of lifeís tiniest secret pleasures: It improves her demonic PMS symptoms, you get unprotected sex, and it prolongs the advent of fatherhood for just a few more years. A majority of women take the pill with experiencing nothing but all the positive side effects; however, some women have been paired with the wrong brand for their systems and can experience such drawbacks as loss of libido. This sometimes happens because the pill inhibits the production of androgens in a womanís ovaries; this hormone also has an effect on the pleasure a woman experiences during sex. Another hormone that could be causing this mess is sex-hormone binding globulin; high levels of this hormone have also been directly linked to decreased libido. If her pill is the cause, you should stand up and dance a happiness jig because that means all she has to do is visit her physician and try a new brand.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Elephant Stampede!

 
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Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Three U.S. undertakers sold body parts
Thu Oct 4, 8:29 PM ET
By Jon Hurdle
PHILADELPHIA (Reuters) - Three Philadelphia funeral directors led a scheme in which more than 1,000 cadavers were dismembered in unsanitary conditions and the parts sold to doctors who implanted them in patients, a grand jury charged on Thursday. Philadelphia District Attorney Lynne Abraham released the grand jury's report alleging the men made $3.8 million (1.86 million pounds) from the sale of body parts in Pennsylvania, New York and New Jersey between February 2004 and September 2005. Accused are Louis Garzone, his brother Gerald Garzone and James McCafferty who ran a funeral and crematory business. The three permitted Michael Mastromarino, a disgraced former dentist, and a team of so-called cutters to remove body parts such as bones, skin and tendons in an unsanitary embalming room, the report found. Thousands of people who needed, for example, to replace broken bones or repair torn tendons may have received parts from cadavers infected by HIV, hepatitis, sepsis and other diseases, the report said. It was not immediately clear if any of the recipients fell ill. The scheme took tissue from 1,077 bodies in New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania, including from 244 cadavers in Philadelphia funeral homes operated by the defendants. The scheme "took businesses normally associated with compassion and caring and perverted them into something ghoulish, greedy, dangerous and criminal," the report said. In 2006, the Garzones closed their funeral homes and surrendered their licenses after the Pennsylvania Department of State said they may have permitted body parts to be removed from cadavers. The men did not admit wrongdoing. At least five Philadelphia-area hospitals, and 41 across Pennsylvania, implanted tissue from Biomedical Tissue Services, the company run by Mastromarino, according to the report. Bodies at the funeral homes often sat for days without refrigeration before the tissue was harvested. One corpse sat for 113 hours after death, violating a medical protocol that tissue must be harvested within 15 hours of death to be safe for use in a living person, the report said. The grand jury urged the strongest prosecution of the conspirators and recommended a series of measures including banning funeral homes from performing tissue recovery, making the theft of body parts a felony crime and requiring all tissue agencies to be licensed by the state.
 
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This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Whoa there kids...see, leaning over the table like this is 'illegal'"-The Big Texas
"Get ready to drink, BITCH..This is how a veteran does it" - Nick "Fury"
Runners-up
"Bill Clinton and his Secret Service Detail spotted at rehearsal for a future episode of Law & Order"-Swt T
"HEY I dont care if you are a cop the elbow rule goes for everybody"-Patsy



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