For The Week Of 10/13/2014
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained.

"Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit--she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Calvin's -Cost of Damage
50 Sexiest -Instagram Ladies
Animal Kingdom -Sexual Habits
Sexually Deviant -Folk Creatures
Erotic Cuisine -Condom Cookbook
Naut Land -Flash Game
TIPS AND TRICKS
LinkedIn's Resume Builder Makes One from Your Profile

We've all used LinkedIn as an online resume, but a new feature creates a traditional paper resume for you by compiling information from your profile. LinkedIn Labs, like Google Labs, is the experimental section of LinkedIn where they test out new features. The Resume Builder takes your LinkedIn Profile and creates an instant resume. You can share the URL of your resume with potential employers or print it out. You could use a free template for your resume or Google Docs, but then you have to fill in all the details yourself. Resume Builder has one major drawback: it doesn't export to an editable format. For now, you can only save it as a PDF.

Of course, you can always upload that PDF to Google Docs and edit it from there. Hit the link at the bottom to try it out.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by Rob

"Does anyone have any advice for the man (me) in a sexless marriage? She has totally lost all interest in anything...and I am going crazy (9 yrs, sexless and counting). I love her dearly, but I'm tired of masturbating and am really afraid I am going to do something incredibly stupid."

A:

"Self esteem can play a HUGE role in a woman's sex drive, even if she doesn't realize it. Then eventually the lack of sex just becomes the norm, unfortunately. The question is, how do you come back from that, especially after 9 years? Perhaps you could start with some subtle compliments to make her feel beautiful again. Let her go get her hair done, her nails done...maybe a shopping spree for new clothes. Confide in her best friend and get her to sprinkle in some compliments too. Try to focus on spending quality time with your spouse - time that you may not get now that you've been married so long. I've been married for 6.5 years, and I find that I'm most "in the mood" after long discussions with my husband where I truly feel connected to him. Women are simple...they like to cuddle, they like to feel pretty, and they like to feel taken care of. This doesn't mean you have to make more money or parade around like Superman. I'm the breadwinner in my household, but I know my husband would protect me in a fight. That's "taken care of" for me. I wouldn't push the issue of getting "help" until you can start to work past the underlying issues that are causing her not to want sex. What she gives you won't be good, and you'll feel bad afterward. Perhaps a marriage counselor could help her realize she needs to do a little helping, or a friend of hers you can talk to without it getting awkward. A friend of mine recently told me she has had sex with her husband 3 times in the last 3 months, and in those times, she was just "taking one for the team." Rather than backing her up like she thought I would, I told her that men have greater sexual desires than women in many cases, and as a good wife, you need to learn to fulfill them. This concept could spark a big debate, but the fact is that putting out isn't that fucking hard, and it makes a world of difference in a marriage. Learn to have fun with it, and it gets even better. Ugh, I like to ramble, but maybe there is some advice or empathy hidden in all of that above. Enjoy :)"

-Heaven

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Frog TV


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
QUEENSLAND, AUSTRALIA -- A LARGE truck has ended up on a beach after a crash north of Cairns this morning. A Queensland Fire and Rescue Service spokeswoman said the semi-trailer travelling on the Captain Cook Highway rolled off the highway and down to the shore at Ellis Beach. The crash is believed to have occurred shortly before 7.15am. The driver was able to get out of the vehicle unassisted, escaping with only a minor cut to his ear. A Queensland Ambulance Service spokeswoman said the driver was a 45-year-old man. He had not yet been taken to hospital.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION--GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference. Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below.

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Runners up will win a kick ass Sublime Hat!

This Weeks



Last Weeks


Winner
"I call this one the Shit Fountain...wait for it."-Tyson

Runner-up
"Black bikini: ohmigod my friend turned into a crab heeeeeelp."-Sam



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