|JOKE OF THE
A man enters the hospital for a
circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he’s perturbed
to see several doctors standing around his bed. “Son, there’s been a
bit of a mix-up,” admits the surgeon. “I’m afraid there was an
accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You
now have a vagina instead of a penis.” “What!” gasps the patient.
“You mean I’ll never experience another erection?” “Oh, you might,”
the surgeon reassures him. “Just not yours.”
|SITES OF THE
|Shite-Price -How Much
Is Your Shit At Work Worth. |
|Pirate Name -Whats
|Bastard Test -Are
You One! |
Of Preversion -Hilarious!
-Convert Your Most Private Thought!
Dozen -Game Of The Week!
|Tip and Trick of
the Week |
Get caught speeding?
Improve your chances of contesting the ticket by keeping your mouth
shut once pulled over. You don’t want to be impolite, but when the
officer asks, “Do you know why I pulled you over,” he’s looking for
you to admit guilt, so play respectful, but dumb. According to
PayNoFine.com, nearly half of all contested tickets are dismissed,
ruled not guilty, or given a reduced fine. Periodically call the
officer’s precinct to find out which days he or she is on duty, then
schedule a court date for the officer’s day off. It might help to
reschedule a couple of times, just to wrench the works. Also, if
possible, PayNoFine also recommends scheduling your court date later
in the week, preferably a Friday afternoon, when the clerk sees
fewer visitors and is concerned more with casting fishing lines than
administering traffic fines.
contributions or suggestions to
Q: submitted by
Hey JD I have been an avid reader of ST and I feel you
are to the point so here it goes. I have been in a 9 year
relationship she is 23 and I am 26. She tells me the other she
doesn't want to break up but she wants to be single? she claims she
has not experienced being single and partying as we have been
together since early high school years. She says she wants to take
some time away from our relationship to do this, and think about
what she wants. JD I am so crushed that want to just tell her
goodbye forever. I don't know if I can trust her or our relationship
if we did get back together. She is confused and I kind of
understand that, but I am lonely and emotionally numb from what she
has done. I need some feed back on what I should do. should I wait
for her to make her decision? or, do I tell her goodbye forever and
maybe she will realize how good she had it? I guess either way I am
going to lose the best thing that has happened to me. I do love her,
I love her a lot. I am a wreck please help.
i'm sure you are
hurting right now but you have to remember a couple of things.
namely, time heals and everything happens for a reason. you have to
stay positive and try and look at the positive side of this
situation. you started dating this girl when you were 17 and when
she was 14. you have to understand that those are very young ages
and how she could feel like she has missed out a little. you don't
have to take it as such a negative request. she needs to be able to
grow a little on her own (and the same with you as well). if you
give her a little time to be on her own and take a little time for
yourself i think you will find it will definately be for the better.
you will both learn lots about yourself and i guarantee you will end
up appreciating each other even more as well. this is why i always
say it is so important to look at the positive side of things. the
negative take could be that a 9 year old relationship is over and
that you'll never see each other again and the positive take is that
you will both grow tremendously and end up being back together with
a relationship that is twice as strong and totally complete. i hate
to get a bit esoteric on you but you have to realize that you are
the creator of the world you experience. no two people see, smell,
taste, hear and experience the same reality. you, and only you, have
the ability to not only perceive things how ever you want (i.e.
seeing the glass half full instead of half empty) but can "will"
just about anything to happen. what i mean by that is if you make
sure your conscious is in check with your subconscious you will
start to find out that things will magically start to happen the way
you want them to. simply..really believe in yourself and really know
what you want out of life and just watch the cards fall into place.
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you
a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or
sent in by you guys.
to view clip: right click mouse and
choose "save target as" option. save the file "matrix.mpg" to your
desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "matrix.mpg"
icon on your desktop to watch the movie.
Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org?subject=stimes_video.
|LONDON (Reuters) - A man
who arrived too late to catch a flight from London to Pakistan
received a five-year jail sentence on Friday for telling
police he had planted a bomb on board the plane, Scotland Yard
said. Yasrub Hussain Shah, 23, from Luton, north of London,
had arrived at Heathrow Airport too late to catch the Pakistan
International Airlines flight in July. After a verbal
confrontation with check-in staff who refused to let him on
board, Shah left and phoned police saying "Pakistan
International Airlines, there is a bomb on it leaving at 8
p.m.," Scotland Yard said in a statement. The call sparked a
major security alert. All passengers and luggage were taken
off the plane, which was subjected to a thorough overnight
search. Nothing suspicious was found. The bogus threat was
traced to Shah's mobile telephone and police arrested him when
he arrived at the airport to catch another flight four days
later. Shah pleaded guilty to the bomb-hoax charge in August
and was sentenced to five years in jail at Isleworth Crown
Court on Friday |
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