For The Week Of 10/14/02
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he’s perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed. “Son, there’s been a bit of a mix-up,” admits the surgeon. “I’m afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis.” “What!” gasps the patient. “You mean I’ll never experience another erection?” “Oh, you might,” the surgeon reassures him. “Just not yours.”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Shite-Price -How Much Is Your Shit At Work Worth.
Pirate Name -Whats Yours.
Bastard Test -Are You One!
Glossary Of Preversion -Hilarious!
Morse Code -Convert Your Most Private Thought!
Amazing Dare Dozen -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat....Speeding Tickets!

Get caught speeding? Improve your chances of contesting the ticket by keeping your mouth shut once pulled over. You don’t want to be impolite, but when the officer asks, “Do you know why I pulled you over,” he’s looking for you to admit guilt, so play respectful, but dumb. According to PayNoFine.com, nearly half of all contested tickets are dismissed, ruled not guilty, or given a reduced fine. Periodically call the officer’s precinct to find out which days he or she is on duty, then schedule a court date for the officer’s day off. It might help to reschedule a couple of times, just to wrench the works. Also, if possible, PayNoFine also recommends scheduling your court date later in the week, preferably a Friday afternoon, when the clerk sees fewer visitors and is concerned more with casting fishing lines than administering traffic fines.

contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
ASK DOCTOR JD

Q: submitted by jack
Hey JD I have been an avid reader of ST and I feel you are to the point so here it goes. I have been in a 9 year relationship she is 23 and I am 26. She tells me the other she doesn't want to break up but she wants to be single? she claims she has not experienced being single and partying as we have been together since early high school years. She says she wants to take some time away from our relationship to do this, and think about what she wants. JD I am so crushed that want to just tell her goodbye forever. I don't know if I can trust her or our relationship if we did get back together. She is confused and I kind of understand that, but I am lonely and emotionally numb from what she has done. I need some feed back on what I should do. should I wait for her to make her decision? or, do I tell her goodbye forever and maybe she will realize how good she had it? I guess either way I am going to lose the best thing that has happened to me. I do love her, I love her a lot. I am a wreck please help.

A:
i'm sure you are hurting right now but you have to remember a couple of things. namely, time heals and everything happens for a reason. you have to stay positive and try and look at the positive side of this situation. you started dating this girl when you were 17 and when she was 14. you have to understand that those are very young ages and how she could feel like she has missed out a little. you don't have to take it as such a negative request. she needs to be able to grow a little on her own (and the same with you as well). if you give her a little time to be on her own and take a little time for yourself i think you will find it will definately be for the better. you will both learn lots about yourself and i guarantee you will end up appreciating each other even more as well. this is why i always say it is so important to look at the positive side of things. the negative take could be that a 9 year old relationship is over and that you'll never see each other again and the positive take is that you will both grow tremendously and end up being back together with a relationship that is twice as strong and totally complete. i hate to get a bit esoteric on you but you have to realize that you are the creator of the world you experience. no two people see, smell, taste, hear and experience the same reality. you, and only you, have the ability to not only perceive things how ever you want (i.e. seeing the glass half full instead of half empty) but can "will" just about anything to happen. what i mean by that is if you make sure your conscious is in check with your subconscious you will start to find out that things will magically start to happen the way you want them to. simply..really believe in yourself and really know what you want out of life and just watch the cards fall into place. ;-)

-JD

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Matrix Reloaded
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "matrix.mpg" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "matrix.mpg" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




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STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
LONDON (Reuters) - A man who arrived too late to catch a flight from London to Pakistan received a five-year jail sentence on Friday for telling police he had planted a bomb on board the plane, Scotland Yard said. Yasrub Hussain Shah, 23, from Luton, north of London, had arrived at Heathrow Airport too late to catch the Pakistan International Airlines flight in July. After a verbal confrontation with check-in staff who refused to let him on board, Shah left and phoned police saying "Pakistan International Airlines, there is a bomb on it leaving at 8 p.m.," Scotland Yard said in a statement. The call sparked a major security alert. All passengers and luggage were taken off the plane, which was subjected to a thorough overnight search. Nothing suspicious was found. The bogus threat was traced to Shah's mobile telephone and police arrested him when he arrived at the airport to catch another flight four days later. Shah pleaded guilty to the bomb-hoax charge in August and was sentenced to five years in jail at Isleworth Crown Court on Friday
 
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"Spiderman, Spiderman"-Patch
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"Caption: The dreaded Penis Fly Trap" -Steve
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