For The Week Of 10/15/01
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more Jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your subcapion on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

This man walks into a bar and quickly realizes that it's a gay bar. But the man really wants a drink, so he goes in anyway. The man walks up to the bartender and says, "I'd like a beer." And the bartender replies, "I can't give you a drink until you tell me the name of your penis." The man is very confused, so he turns to the guy on his right and asks him, "What's the name of your penis?" And the guy replies, "Timex... Takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'." So then the man turns to the guy on his left and asks him, "What's the name of your penis?" And the man replies, "Energizer... It keeps going and going and..." So the man finally understands what is going on, and he says to the bartender, "The name of my penis is Secret." And the bartender asks "Why?" And the man replies, "Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman."
SITES OF THE WEEK
BarTender - Booze Not Included.
Ghost Town -Spot The Ghost.
Japanese - Learn a New Language!!
Serial Killer Test - Hidden Fantasy!
Black Ninga -Complete The Mission.
TIPS & TRICKS
Free Desert!
I've got a trick that may be useful. After your all done eating your meal at a restaurant, you decide that you want a dessert...a FREE dessert. No problem. Get up and go to the bathroom. Then have someone that you're with tell the waiter or waitress that it's your birthday. After you get back from the bathroom, you will have all of the waiters and waitress clapping and singing a corny version of Happy Birthday. You'll also have a nice ice cream sundae or piece of cake for free. We do it all the time and we always get the same results...FREE DESSERT!
ASK DOCTOR JD

Hey Doc JD,

Q: submitted by Dillon

I been w/ this girl for about a month or so right. She doesnt like goin down or anything so she decided that we should skip right to the sex. The catch is that she was a virgin...so the first time i start hittin it and she just about dies because she's in so much pain. So i stop. Two weeks later, i try again and this time she looks like she's in even more pain, crying and everything. I can't get her to relax and she's just so damn tight, it feels like heaven for me but hell for her. How can I get it loosened up some or at least get her to not be so damn nervous?

A:
this happens to a lot of girls and usually all it takes is some time before their mind and vagina "loosen up." unless a girl has been ramming down an 8 inch dildo for the past few months her first few times are likely to be painful. usually the only thing a girl has put in there on a regular basis is a tampon..so unless your dong has the girth of a tampon the girl is going to be in some pain. BUT what do i always say? every problem has a solution. even though she doesn't blow you now doesn't mean you can not give her some oral pleasure. she might not go down on you now but i promise you as soon as you start making her cum she will be sucking on your cod piece like nothing (sidebar: don't get what you want in bed? make your girl cum over and over and you'll be getting head, backdoor and rim jobs until the cows come home). to get the ball rolling i would start out with a good twenty minutes of clit tickling. really get her pussy wet and tingling. after this get on top of her and slowly slip your dick in. rest your body on top of her but support yourself enough so that you are not like some dead whale on top of her. tease the entrance of her pussy with just about an inch of your dick for five to ten minutes. now go in about an inch further..and again tease for about 5 minutes. repeat this until you are all the way in. now here is the key...this girl is new to the game and if you start ramming away it is going to hurt her like hell. keep a nice firm pressure against her clit with your pubic bone. no slowly go in and out about a quarter of an inch and as you are coming in gently rub against and upwards on her clit with your pubic bone. keep the pace to her breathing..a girl needs to build up to an orgasm (of course there is a time and a place for a quick hard slam but this is not one of them) so don't start off like a jack hammer. also when you are flush to her clit flex your dick a little so that it pulses inside her. keep this up for awhile and she'll be cumming before you now it. hope this helps! oh yeah, remember this girl gave something special to you..respect that.

-JD

 
Clip OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Dorm Life!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "ball.mpg" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "ball.mpg" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


FOOSBALL TRICK


Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
In September, King Mswati III of Swaziland, faced with a dramatic AIDS epidemic, ordered all teen-age girls to abstain from sex for five years and to wear tassels of green and yellow to make it easier for men to avoid them (under threat of a fine, for man and woman both, of either one cow or about $250). Married teens are exempt but must wear tassels of red and black. [BBC News, 9-18-01]

 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the caption that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Apparently, Ed never learned that a phrase like "You don't have the balls to wear that thong" is a figure of speech." -ColeSlaw
Runners-up
"Grandpa, can I have my slingshot back." -Halvin
"Bob when I said casual Friday this is not what I meant!!!!!! " -Mike
"Have no fear, Captain Cockblock is here!" -Ben

Archived Issues:
|06-18-2001 |06-25-2001 |07-02-2001 |07-09-2001 |07-16-2001 |
|07-23-2001 |07-30-2001 |08-06-2001 |08-13-2001 |08-20-2001 |
|08-27-2001 |09-03-2001 |09-10-2001 |09-17-2001 |09-23-2001 |
|10-01-2001 |10-08-2001 |




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