For The Week Of 10/24/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golfcourse when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I joinyou? My partner didn't turn up."

"Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a hit man," was the reply.

"You're joking!" was the response.

"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."

"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window." "Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait ! a minute , that's my neighbor in there with her...... He's naked, too!!! The bitch!"

He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?" "I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

"Can you do two for me now?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth." "Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."

The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.

"Just be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here....."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Best Ads On Tv -Funny
Pop Locking -Groove and Pop!
Hurricanes Thru Space! -NASA Animation!
LOST-Flash!
Hear Us Now -Fight Big Media
Tresure Box -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Banks
I dunno how many jackasses there are out there that do not know how to use a debit card! Ever try to use it to pay at the pump or at the grocery store and it throws a "fuck you---you broke bastard" message back at you when you know damn well that there should be enough cash in there? I know its called a debit card...but choose CREDIT instead of DEBIT. This will let you use your card up to the very last penny and even overdraft...while with debit you must have at least $40 in your account before you try and use it.

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ASK TINA

Q: submited by Cindy
Lately I've been fantasizing about having a threesome with my boyfriend and another girl. I love my guy, but now I'm wondering if I might be bisexual. How should I go about talking to him about this?
A:
It's totally normal to think about all sorts of sexual scenarios. But it doesn't mean you have to -- or even want to -- turn your fantasies into reality. Nor does it mean you're bisexual. It's quite common for straight women to become aroused by the idea of having sex with another woman. You say you are in love with your boyfriend, so don't stress about it. Just enjoy your erotic daydreams, using them to amp up your masturbation or sack sessions, without feeling guilty or worried. You don't have to share all your sexual whims with your man, but if you want to, he'll probably find it a turn-on, too. Let your mental ménage à trois be the inspiration for some fun dirty talk. Simply discussing the juicy details together may be enough to satisfy you. If the two of you do decide to try a trio, proceed with care. You never really know how you'll feel once you're confronted with the sight of your boyfriend being intimate with another woman. And while your guy may think that watching you get it on with a female will be fun, he might get super-jealous, too. This kind of sexual experimenting requires an exceeding amount of maturity, not to mention a very tight bond between you and your partner. Chances are, you're better off keeping these desires in the fantasy realm rather than taking the chance of ruining a relationship.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Lean Out
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "leanout.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "leanout.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
A Hummer limo filled with people celebrating a birthday party turned into a wild ride early Sunday after a man attempted to steal it, San Antonio Police said. What the suspect did not realize was there were 15 people in the back of the limo. Twenty-one-year-old Noe Ochoa was arrested, police said. He was held down by people in the limo until officers arrived. Party-goers could not believe what was happening. “The Hummer starts to move and everybody's like, ‘What's going on?’” Kenneth Thornton said. His friends had rented the limo for Kenneth’s 28th birthday. The limo driver was apparently in the back talking to one of the 15 the passengers when Ochoa jumped in to the Hummer, police said. Thorton crawled through the privacy window to stop the suspected carjacker. “I flip the park on the Hummer, and it screeches us to a halt,” Thorton said. “Then, I put him in a choke hold until they can get out and pull him out.” Ochoa appeared before a judge early Sunday with a black eye and several cuts. He was charged with stealing the limo. Ochoa told police his friends ditched him so he needed a ride. Ochoa remained in the Bexar County Jail Sunday night
 
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"always recycle cause beer piss is still 50% beer"-Phill
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"Man boobs AND a colostomy bag? I think I've found Mr. Right"-Tony
"The most feared man in Prison!"-J and C



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