For The Week Of 10/24/2011
Happy with all the porn you are taking off Sublime… time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her labia reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. 'I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!' The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: 'I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself.' 'The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and understood because she had had the same procedure done some time ago.' 'And what about the third rose ?' she asked. 'That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears!

SITES OF THE WEEK
Teenage Mutant Ninja -Noses!
Hotties Who -Occupy Wall Street!
Gasoline Signs -Gasoline Logos!
Blunt Card -Honest Wiseass Cards!
IMCDb -Movie Car Database!
Rebuild 2 -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Any To Do Helps You Organize All Your Important Tasks

Any To Do is a to-do list manager for iPhone that does a great job of helping you sort out personal and professional tasks, and uses the Steven Covey "Four Quadrants" method to help you decide what's urgent, what's important, and what's worth dropping everything to take care of right now. Covey's Four Quadrant method, first discussed in the book First Things First is an organizational method that asks you to organize your tasks into four categories: tasks that are important and urgent, important but not urgent, urgent but not important, and neither important or urgent. As you add tasks, the app will ask you questions that will place them in each category. When you've finished, you can look at all of your to-dos, just your personal ones, or just your professional ones, either in a more traditional list based on due-dates and dates entered, or in the four quadrants so you can decide what's really worth doing.

Any To Do also syncs with Evernote, so if you already use Evernote to manage your to-dos and projects, you don't have to re-enter everything to get started. The application will also automatically add to-dos with due dates to your calendar so you won't forget them. When you're finished, Any To Do wants you to have a list of your next actions organized by their real priority, not just their due date.

The app is $5.99 in the iTunes App Store, and is iOS only.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submitted by sg

Has anyone ever tried anal bleaching? Or even know how exactly it's done? Watching a lot of porn makes me interested in this.

A:
I have relatively darker skin being Portuguese / Italian. So I do it once a month or two. Pretty straightforward and you can find instructions / guides online. Just don't go too crazy with it otherwise it gets too sensitive in that area and will hurt while doing other things.

-Tina

AskmyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Daft Punk Helmets


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
LAFOURCHE, LA -- Lafourche - Police in Lafourche Parish have arrested a man they say was driving a lawnmower while drunk. Police say last Friday, a deputy responded to Highway 1 south of Lockport after receiving calls about a man on a riding lawnmower including one report that the man had cut down shrubs in someone's yard. Upon arrival, the deputy observed the man, 22 year-old Bobby Punch, driving the lawnmower in the northbound lane of traffic on LA-1 with a long line of vehicles behind him. Police also observed Punch cross the center line and travel in the southbound lane of traffic before moving back into the northbound lane. The deputy initiated a traffic stop and noted a very strong odor of alcohol coming from Punch's breath. Punch's speech was slurred and had trouble keeping his balance.

Due to the heavy traffic and his apparent level of impairment, Punch was arrested and transported to the Criminal Operations Center in Lockport to perform a sobriety test. Punch performed poorly and eventually indicated he could not continue. He submitted to a breathalyzer test, and the results indicated Punch had a blood alcohol concentration of .312g%. He was booked with D.W.I. 2nd Offense, Simple Criminal Damage to Property, Improper Equipment and Not Driving on the Right Side of the Road.
 
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This Weeks



Last Weeks


Winner
"King Triton has a hefty ransom to pay." -TK

Runner-up
"I caught this sexy mermaid then I caught crabs...or was it the other way around?" -Sammy



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