For The Week Of 10/25/2004
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says to the guy, "What can I get you?" "Make it a whiskey," says the man, who promptly throws it down in one gulp. "That'll be three dollars," says the bartender. "Screw you!" says the man. "You offered to get me something. I thought you were paying." "Get out," says the bartender. "You're banned. I don't need your crap." Two years later, the same man walks into the same bar with the same bartender. The bartender looks at him and says, "You're the jerk who tried to con a drink out of me, aren't you?" "Excuse me, but I have no idea what you're talking about," says the customer. "I've never been to this bar before in my life!" "Sorry. My mistake," says the bartender. "You must have a double." "Hey thanks, dude!" says the customer. "Make it whiskey."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Phobia Guide -Cool or Scary!
Body Paint -Talented!
Real Doll Vs. Super Babe -WTF!
Slap That Candidate -Fun
Paper Clip Art -Amazing
Beer Counter -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Technical Support!
When helping someone fix their computer over the phone, and you want them to see if all the cables are plugged in correctly, don’t ask, “Have you checked to see if the cable is plugged in?” because the customer will always say, “Of course I did, do you think I’m a moron?” Instead say, “Remove the cable, blow the dust out of the connector, and plug it back in.” The customer will most likely reply, “Hey, it’s working now—I guess that dust really builds up in there!”
ASK TINA

Q: submited by C
My boyfriend wants to have sex in crazy positions with the lights on, but I'm ashamed of my body and don't want him to see every detail of it. We've been having sex in the dark, but he wants to see everything. What should I do?

A:
Many women are bummed about how they look nude. But, while you may think your thighs are flabby or your stomach has rolls, your man probably hasn't even noticed. Guys don't zero in on the minute "imperfections" that women obsess over. And the fact that he wants to try "crazy" positions with you only shows how much you excite him...exactly the way you are. If you're judging yourself while trying to feel pleasure, you won't be able to fully enjoy the experience. The first step to stop the body-bashing thoughts that can sabotage your sack sessions is to concentrate on how your body feels, rather than how it looks. Making more eye contact with your partner will also help keep you in the moment and up the intimacy factor. While getting comfortable with baring it all in front of your man won't happen overnight, you can help boost your in-the-buff confidence by trying these tricks: Instead of jumping into lights-on action, light a bunch of mood-enhancing candles. Have sex in positions that highlight your assets. For instance, if you love your boobs, try girl-on-top mode. Or, if your booty is one of your favorite body parts, do it doggy-style. You can also let your guy feast his eyes on your form without showcasing all of your skin by donning sexy lingerie or wearing a slinky tank -- and nothing else. Leaving a little to your man's imagination can be a huge turn-on. As you gradually get used to being ogled by your guy, your self-esteem -- and sexual satisfaction -- will skyrocket. After all, there's nothing sexier than a woman who loves her own bod. And that's the naked truth.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Kimbo should fight this prick!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "holdinitdown.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "holdinitdown.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Paris - Gay porn and Wonder Woman repeats are to be offered in heavy doses on television in France from Monday as the country's first station aimed at homosexuals starts operations via cable and satellite. Pink TV, a channel largely financed by the three main existing commercial networks, plans to present a mix of respectable programming and spicy niche shows to draw in a segment of the viewing population it boasts advertisers want because of their supposed higher incomes and lack of dependents. Most importantly, it sees the time as ripe for such a venture, given the increasing acceptance of the gay lifestyle in France and other European countries. The open homosexuality of Paris mayor Bertrand Delanoe, the recent court approval for France's first gay family headed by two lesbians, a June wedding of two men that has sparked a debate over gay marriages and a government push to stamp out homophobic crimes all back its argument. The announcement of the channel's launch a month ago has generated mostly welcoming reports in the mainstream press. The left-leaning Liberation newspaper dedicated its weekend front page and three following pages to the new station, while news magazines also gave splashy play. The most written-about aspect is Pink TV's obsession with sex - most notably its four gay pornographic movies to be screened each week after midnight. The first male skin flick, Out Of Athens, will be shown late Monday, some three hours after the channel is received in homes that have paid the €9 monthly subscription fee. The lesbian side of the formula will kick off next month with Madame and Eve, according to the station's programmers, who have made no secret of their hopes that straight viewers will also be drawn to their line-up. For audiences looking for the softer subtext of homosexuality - and sharing the appreciation of certain gay icons - the channel will have a daily helping of Wonder Woman, the 1970s US superhero series starring Lynda Carter. Also on the menu are English-language series such as Queer As Folk, Metrosexuality, and French And Saunders along with documentaries of celebrities like Freddy Mercury. Sports coverage, fittingly enough, will be handled by a tall transsexual in heels and a skirt known as Brigitte Boreale. The question is: Will the experiment prove viable? The owners, starting with CEO Pascal Houzelot, a former executive with France's top TV network TF1 who also worked for Jacques Chirac before he came president, believe so. They hope to have 180,000 subscribers within two years, with advertisers making up 20 percent of Pink TV's revenues, and keeping its budget to €12-million. Pink TV is presenting its future viewers as a young "gay and gay-friendly" crowd with a high disposable income and a taste for consumer products. But, as Liberation pointed out, big companies with huge advertising budgets, such as Proctor and Gamble or Danone, have not yet come calling. The channel's advertising manager, Olivier Cariou, told the newspaper that that would change soon. Pink TV, he said, "is being seen as something urban, trendy and hip." A similar gay channel launched in Canada in 2001, Pridevision, and Gay TV which started in Italy a year later are struggling, but the niche continues to be tapped abroad, observers noted, pointing to Logo, a station for homosexuals in the United States which is to begin broadcasting next March.
 
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This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"You put your head in, you take your head out ...do the hokey pokey and turn yourself about."-Falcon
Runners-up
"The little shop of whores!!!"-Crazy
"I hope this camera works so I can SHOW him that damn G -Spot !!!!!" -R1



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