For The Week Of 10/30/01
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more Jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your subcapion on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man with a black eye, boards a plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down. He immediately notices that the man next to him also has a black eye and says, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have blackeyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?" The other guy replies, "Well, it was a tongue twister accident. I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most beautiful large breasts was there. So, instead of saying, 'I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh,' accidentally said, 'I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh.'...and she socked me a good one. The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife, "Please pour me a cup of coffee honey.' But I accidentally said, 'You have ruined my life you evil, self-centered, fat-assed, bitch!'
SITES OF THE WEEK
Workplace Views - Reaction Comics.
RatKill -Your Varmit Headquaters.
Nueticles - Get Your Pets Fake Balls!!
Drunk Of The Month - How Drunk Are You!
Get Jake Laid -Great game. .exe file but totally safe.
TIPS & TRICKS
Get Out Of A Ticket!
Want to improve your chances of getting out of a parking ticket? Immediately after discovering the Mayor’s meal ticket on your windshield, go to the closest auto store in proximity and buy a car battery, making sure to keep the receipt. Then, set a court date to fight the ticket, and bring the receipt with you, explaining to the judge that your battery died while you were parked in the spot. After he/she lets you off, bring the new battery back to the store and get your money back.
ASK DOCTOR JD

Hey Doc JD,

Q: submitted by Nick

i read your shit every week and you give great advice man. the problem i have is this girl that i want....bad. she is so hot! we met a week ago and totally hit it off, i know she's attracted to me and she knows i really like her. but shes got this asshole b/f who doesnt spend any time with her, and for some unknown reason she won't dump him and go out with me. what can i do to convince this chick that i'm her man? girls do this a lot and if anyone knows why it has to be you, help me out please!

A:
ahh yes..the ever popular question of how to get chiks. i think i am going to someday write a book that answers this exact question. it will only be one page and have one work centered in the middle of the page.."INDIFFERENCE." the foundation of your "game" must be solidly formed from this word. there are lots of smaller things that will help you seal the deal with a woman, which i will get to in a moment, but they all are frivolous without indifference being properly practiced. now i am not talking about ignoring a girl like you did in 3rd grade when you liked a chik...or even worse, making fun of a girl you like (which i am still amazed to see guys my age still doing). you must still entice the woman you are after with humor, wit, romance, etc.. -- but without acting like sex is the only thing on your mind. once you have a few woman in your pocket and are having sex on a regular basis this will all come naturally. in the meantime, however, you are always going to have to whack before hanging out with this girl. it is the only way you won't be acting like a walking hard-on. it is just fact that a girl becomes very intrigued by a man that doesn't put the moves on when an opportunity arises. now the only thing left is to execute a couple of the tricks of the trade. first. always make a girl feel special. don't over due it..but make a girl feel beautiful and you are half way, actually a fourth, home. second. let her see you in your domain. if there is really something you excel at let her see you do it. third. don't be a pussy! chiks are naturally attracted to men they feel safe around so don't be a pussy for pete sake. fourth. if you have a good friend that happens to be a girl have her talk you up. a girl putting in a good word is huge. if this girl you like hears you are good in bed and are an super nice guy from another girl you are money (to be these two things helps too! taking the time to please a woman and being a nice guy are two things you should strive for anyways). put all these together and i can guarantee you she will be yours. notice how i did not mention her boyfriend in all of this? i did so because he is meaningless to the equation. pull all the above together and she will be forgetting that guys name in no time if he really does ignore her like you says he does. oh yeah..one last thing. the fine print. this isn't "make a wish foundation." if the girl is elle mcpherson and you are erkell it just isn't going to happen. the only way to override something like that is to become rich, famous, or both. let us know how it goes...

-JD

 
Clip OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


RoofDrop!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "roofdrop.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "roofdrop.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


Dont Try This At Home!


Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Dr. Rogerio Lobo, chairman of the ob-gyn department at Columbia Medical School, told reporters in October that he almost withheld publishing his findings (in a current issue of the prestigious Journal of Reproductive Medicine) because they were so improbable. His team found that random groups of South Korean women had almost double the success rate with in-vitro fertilization if they had been prayed for by a group of Americans than if they hadn't been. Lobo said there was probably some variable he had not accounted for, but he could not imagine what it might be.

 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the caption that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Green Robe - $15 Optical Mouse - $30 Green Keyboard - $20 Taking the phrase cyber-sex too literally - priceless." -Richman
Runners-up
"David demonstrates the new Microsoft Masturbation Software Ver. 5.0." -Halvin
"Embarrassed that people may find out, Gilbert hides his lack of a hard drive with fancy computer accessories." -Brad
"Under this keyboard is where you'll find the real 404 error!" -VZE

Archived Issues:
|06-18-2001 |06-25-2001 |07-02-2001 |07-09-2001 |07-16-2001 |
|07-23-2001 |07-30-2001 |08-06-2001 |08-13-2001 |08-20-2001 |
|08-27-2001 |09-03-2001 |09-10-2001 |09-17-2001 |09-23-2001 |
|10-01-2001 |10-08-2001 |10-15-2001 |10-22-2001 |




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