For The Week Of 11/04/02
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

This guy is flying down the interstate, going way faster than he should be, and consequently he gets pulled over by the state police. When the officer comes up to the window, the man says, “Before you say anything, I should probably tell you that this car is stolen, I have an unregistered handgun in the glove compartment, and there is a dead body in the trunk.” The officer, in absolute shock, calls for backup and within minutes the road is blocked off and there are cops all around. They search the car and find none of the things he said to be true. After investigating, the sergeant approaches the driver and says, “I don’t understand. I spoke with the officer who pulled you over, and he said you told him there was a gun in the glovebox, a body in the trunk, and that the car was stolen. What’s the deal here?” The man stands there dumbfounded, then says, “I bet he told you I was speeding, too, huh?”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Squirrel Gets A Nut -Dolly Gets Some Tail.
Build Your Own Ride -Awesome Flash Series.
Virtual Ex-Girlfriend -Sme Bitching And Moaning!
Dr. Suess Purity Test -Have You Done It On A Boat, Have You Done It At Home!
The F Word -Many Uses!
Piss Away -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat....Arcade Halls!

Next time you’re at an restaurant/amusement center (e.g., Chuck E. Cheese, Dave & Buster’s, etc.) trolling for skank—er, rolling skee balls or playing any other skill game that awards prize tickets for high scores, try this cheat to stretch your ticket take farther. When you’re ready to cash in, make sure that you’ve already amassed a fairly large pile of tickets, and that the cashier tallies tickets by weight. Before approaching the counter, take your tickets to the bathroom and wet about a dozen of them. Then, have them all weighed. You’ll be credited with more tickets given the added weight of the water (just make sure the tickets are damp, not soaked). I once had only 300 tickets and wetted about 11 of them. They counted as 900 tickets! Of course, if I only had a girlfriend, this would never have happened.

contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
ASK DOCTOR JD

Q: submitted by Goth

The past few weeks I have been seeing a girl who seems to get me aroused every time I see her. We have played around in bed together and have rolled around the sheets together, me with a hard on and she extremely turned on. Because she is not quite ready to go all the way, I have been finding myself getting super hard erections then cooling off all night long. My testicles seem to be bearing the brunt of this erection then non-ejaculation, and I am in pain most of the next day. What is going on? I am 20 years old and very healthy. Should I be concerned? Is this what some people term "blue balls"?

A:
ohh man, thats the worst. it feels like your nuts are going to explode right? you are getting a classic case of good ole "blue balls." it is a part of growing up and luckily there is an easy fix! what happens is when you are getting aroused blood is rushing to your johnson and nuts at a mad pace. the more aroused you are the more they become packed with blood. now what is ideal is that the girl (hey i don't judge...or guy, transexual, animal, etc..) that caused this rush of blood releases it by causing you to orgasm somehow. this way the blood exits the area in a quick fasion and there is no pain. if there is no orgasm it starts to exit the area but at a much slower pace. this is what causes that throbbing pain. luckily it is very easy to get rid of this pain. SIMPLY RUB ONE OUT! ;-) if you have to excuse yourself to the bathroom and rub out a quick one sobeit. otherwise you are going to be stuck with some throbbing balls for a few hours!

-JD

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


ParaPole
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "pole.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "pole.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Police in Modesto, Calif., arrested Kelli Pratt, 45, in October and charged her with domestic abuse after she, enraged by her husband's refusal to have sex, allegedly held him down and bit him so viciously and so many times that his severely ripped-open skin was ripe for the bacterial infection that killed him six days later. Kelli suffers from multiple sclerosis and often uses a wheelchair; husband Arthur, 65, had recently been hospitalized for diabetes. Said an arresting officer, "(Kelli) refused to wash up (before we videotaped her), so she basically looks (on the tape) like a vampire with blood all over her face and teeth." [San Francisco Chronicle, 10-18-02]
 
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This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Well.... I guess this was one of Picasso's VERY last works!"-Ralph
Runners-up
"They introduce the newest Teletubbie- slutty-wutty"Trick
"Her husbands cockeyed too so it's ok!"-R



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