For The Week Of 11/05/2007
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother. The first said, "I built a big house for our Mother." The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it." Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks: "Milton," she wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house." "Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel any more. My eyesight isn't what it used to be. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!" "Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was delicious!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Terrible -Old comic ads!
Super Heroes -Science!
Make you own -Jabba the hut!
Etch-a-sketch -Creations!
Top 25 -Craziest Deaths!
Sick Darts!-Game Of The Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
WD-40!
Water Displacement #40. The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent and degreaser to protect missile parts. WD-40 was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company. Its name comes from the project that was to find a "water displacement" compound. They were successful with the fortieth formulation, thus WD-40. The Corvair Company bought it in bulk to protect their atlas missile parts. Here are some of the uses: 1) Protects silver from tarnishing. 2) Removes road tar and grime from cars. 3) Cleans and lubricates guitar strings. 4) Gives floors that 'just-waxed' sheen without making it slippery! 5) Keeps flies off cows. 6) Restores and cleans chalkboards. 7) Removes lipstick stains. 8) Loosens stubborn zippers. 9) Untangles jewelry chains. 10) Removes stains from stainless steel sinks. 11) Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill. 12) Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing. 13) Removes tomato stains from clothing. 14) Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots. 15) Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors. 16) Keeps scissors working smoothly. 17) Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes. 18) It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor! Use WD-40 for those nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn't seem to harm the finish and you won't have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks. 19) Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40! 20) Gives a children's play gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.
Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Julian
I have a confidence problem that used to be related to my weight and my penis size, but now I've been able to become comfortable with my weight and not let that get to me. I have trouble approaching women to ask them out because in my mind I know that if the date is successful it could lead to a relationship, which would nowadays lead to sex, which would mean she would find out about my below-average penis size (4.5"). I was wondering if you had any tips on how I could overcome the embarrassment of my penis size so that I can feel comfortable asking a woman out without anything hampering my confidence level.

A:
You propose a valuable concern, seeing as a bevy of men are as self-conscious about their penis size as women are about their breast size. Nothing can be worse for a man’s sexual confidence and performance than the ongoing concern of the size of his manhood and what his current partner thinks of it. And while my lecture on why penis size doesn’t matter won’t help you snap into a more confident frame of mind, it is my responsibility to relay the message to you anyway: Yes, a microscopic penis of the 2” variety might turn a woman off, yet a penis measuring 4.5” can be just as pleasurable as one measuring 6” if used properly. There are positions for small penises that help both partners experience the utmost pleasure. And, if seduced with the proper amount of foreplay, rest assured that the size of your member won’t affect her fun in any way. To make you feel better about your penis size, let’s point out the negatives to having the kind of enormous manhood women are believed to lust after. The truth is that most women are afraid of porn-star penises. Penises that are above average in length and/or girth not only cause her pain, but also cause insertion difficulties… and thus more pain. Another drawback is that men with larger penises usually don’t get to experience the pleasure of deep penetration because of the pain it brings to their partners. In other words, men with large penises don’t necessarily have all the fun. Try to learn how to use what you’ve been given to the best of your ability, and if you can make it a pleasurable experience for her, she won’t give a hoot how big a tool you used to get her there.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Manly Catfish Catch

 
 


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STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Spider bite no excuse for rape, court says
Thu Nov 1, 8:54 AM ET
SYDNEY (Reuters) - An Australian man who kidnapped and raped a woman blamed his actions on a spider, local media reported on Thursday. Philip Spiers pleaded guilty to the kidnap and rape, but told a court that the poison from a funnel-web spider bite had left him with a viral illness which led to his actions. But a toxicologist told the New South Wales state District Court there was no medical evidence to suggest a spider bite could be responsible for anger and hatred. Spiers, who kidnapped and raped the woman in 1997, was sentenced on Wednesday to eight years in jail.
 
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