For The Week Of 11/08/2004
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mom, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your childís name, Penny." He turns to the third mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your childís name, Brandy." At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers, "Come on, Dick, weíre leaving."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Skateboard -Worlds Biggest!
Celibate -FAQ!
Ifilm -Hot Party!
Carnal Cookies -WTF
After Living -Become A Mummy!
Walkies -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...MeterMaids!
With some parking meters, Iíve found that if you insert a quarter but do not turn the knob, you can get your quarter back with a solid thump to the back of the meter. Most meter maids will turn the knob to see if a quarter got stuck before writing out a ticket. If they do check, sure enough a quarter drops and youíre all set. Even if you donít want to rely entirely on this method for scamming the meter, itís a nice insurance policy in the event you donít get back to your car in time.
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Amanda
My boyfriend wants me to initiate sex, but for some reason I can't. How can I overcome this insecurity and just jump on him?

A:
Making the first move can definitely be intimidating -- even for guys. But, usually, the main freak-out factor is fear of being shot down, and since you already know your man wants you to lay your paws on him, you're ahead of the game. Initiating the action doesn't mean you have to come on to your man like a porn star or toss him on the bed and have your way with him. Instead, try a more subtle seduction strategy, like catching him off guard with a passionate kiss. Sounds obvious, but all it takes is a little lip-locking to get his blood racing. Another gotta-have-him-now ploy: Offer to give him a spine-melting massage. Have him undress and lie facedown on the bed, then slowly knead and stroke him from the nape of his neck down to his butt and on to his below-the-belt region. Or, join him in the shower and sensuously soap him up. Remember, just because your guy wants you to start the erotic encounter doesn't mean he expects you to run the whole show. Once he's clued in to the fact that you're hot for his bod, which, if you follow these tips should take all of three seconds, he'll be so turned on he'll be the one jumping you. In time, after you've built up your sexual confidence with these teasing techniques, you'll be ready to move on to bolder bids for between-the-sheets sessions.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Air Gun Massacre
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "airgun.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "airgun.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
There is little money to be gained from attempting to rob a bank that is still under construction, police say a Marietta man learned on Wednesday. Michael Donald Marshall, 39, entered the Bank of America and demanded $500 from the tellers while threatening that he had a gun, according to the Kennesaw Police Department. The employees then told him the bank wasn't open for business and there was no money. Kennesaw Police arrived as Marshall exited the building empty-handed, officers said. The suspect is charged with armed robbery. During their investigation, police also learned that Marshall had an outstanding warrant for shoplifting in Cobb, Kennesaw Police spokesman officer Scott Luther said.
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"The Nutcracker travels the Hershey Highway!"-Elliot
Runners-up
"Melts in your mouth, not in your hand"-Bat Hair
"I told you, "no more fucking chocolate before dinner"!!" -J



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