For The Week Of 11/11/02
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

An old man walks into a doctor’s office and says, “There’s something wrong with my penis.” The embarrassed receptionist leans over her desk and whispers, “Sir, you shouldn’t say something like that in a crowded office.” “What am I supposed to do?” he asks. “You could’ve said you have a problem with your ear and then discussed it with the doctor privately.” “OK, I’ll try again.” So the old man walks out of the office, returns a moment later, and says, “There’s something wrong with my ear.” “OK,” the receptionist says approvingly. “What’s wrong with your ear?” “I can’t piss out of it.”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Rock And Roll Confidential -Making Fun Of Music So You Dont Have To.
Lego -Make A Version Of You.
The Voulentary Human Extinction Movement -WTF!
Stimulator -Why Live Real Life When You Can Live It On The Internet?!
Bums -Official Webpage!
Snow Bowling -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat....Airline Passengers!

For the cattle car airlines, where you seat yourself according to boarding pass number, instead of assigned seating (e.g., Southwest Airlines): While at the bar before boarding your flight, dip the corner of a napkin in your drink (beer works well, a Bloody Mary even better). Unfolding the napkin as you walk onto the plane, place it on the seat next to you as you sit down. Now, close your eyes and suppress a smirk as the fellow cattle on your flight stop and see the open seat next to yours, as well as the apparent urine (or blood) stain that is apparently soaking into the napkin, and continue their journey towards the increasingly dismal ass end of the plane. Now you’ve nobody to fight with for the armrest, or, at least, you can be more selective on who shares the armrest.

contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
ASK DOCTOR JD

Q: submitted by Mike

I've heard that it is real easy to make lots of money by making porn websites. Is this true? How much would i have to invest to get started?

A:
that might have been mildly true a few years ago but it is just not the case anymore. there is a lot more competetion these days and as with just about anything...there is no such thing as a free ride. i think if you are looking to just make a few hundred extra dollars a month it is worth trying but if you want to make a career out of it you better be willing to spend a lot of time and money. also, if you don't really care for computers i'd pass it up. if you happen to be the type that love playing around on the computer and know even a little about html then i'd say definately give it a shot. the main obstacle you are going to have is getting surfers to your website. traffic is what it is all about. you can not get anyone to buy anything if there is no one there to see it. there are lots of ways to get free traffic. what most webmasters do is signup with a reseller program that will pay a percent or flat fee for signups your "refer" and then post little preview galleries to websites like ours hoping that maybe one out of every thousand or so surfers that see the gallery will signup for the program they are promoting. some webmasters deal mostly with sending spam (a whole other animal..i'd stay away from that path) or getting traffic from the search engines. i'd suggest trying to get traffic from the search engines...posting to all the free sites out there like sublime can be very time consuming and can take months before they list you (so many webmasters post to them that they get huge backlogs). now what you are going to need is a program to push, a place to put your websites (hosting), and content to promote the program you signup with. it is free to signup with a program and many of them have free content that you can use to promote them but free hosting isn't always the easiest to come by. many places that offer it don't have the most reliable service. a free host is a good place to start but as soon as you get rolling you are going to need to pay for a good host. if you are using the search engines you are not going to be doing much bandwidth so you could probably get away with an account that costs around 50 bucks a month. two good programs you can signup with are nastydollars.com and oxcash.com. now to learn a little about everything in the industry head over to ynotmasters.com and start reading over the articles. good luck!

-JD

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Massive Dildo
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "dildo.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "dildo.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Performance artists and computer gamers staged a cockfight night in a basement in Los Angeles' Chinatown in October, attracting about 200 people to go down-culture, drink beer, and wager on "roosters" flapping and pecking and clawing at each other, except that the cocks were humans dressed in garish rooster outfits. Tech people had rigged the outfits with sensors to register the effectiveness of the fighters on a large screen that exhibited virtual blood. [Houston Chronicle, 10-17-02]
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"A new broadway production opens this Friday, a remake of the tragic tale of star crossed lovers known as "Romeo and Juliet", it's entitled "Cleetus and Shaniqua!"-Richard
Runners-up
"another happy couple that met on the Jerry Springer Show"-R
"Lady's and gentlemen, I give you Pat Buchanan and Rev. Jesse Jackson!"-zac



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