For The Week Of 11/12/01
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more Jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your subcapion on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads hamburger: $1; cheeseburger: $2; hand job: $10. He beckons to an attractive blonde behind the counter. “Can I help you?” she asks with a knowing smile. “I was wondering,” whispers the man. “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” “Yes,” she purrs. “I am.” “Well, wash your hands,” he says. “I want a cheeseburger.”

SITES OF THE WEEK
All Your Base - Taken Over.
Way Back Machine -Old Webpages come alive.
Are You Stressed - Take The Test!!
Spank The Monkey - How Fast Can You Do It?!
PacMan Does Broadway! - Star Of The Night.
TIPS & TRICKS
Get Free Stuff In The Mail!
To get free stuff or huge discount coupons, write letters to big-name companies complaining that you (or your wife—works better) are dissatisfied with their product. Be careful to cite the UPC code from the product in question and mention that it’s usually so good, as you are a regular user of their goods and/or services. This works better as an e-mail, and is successful on eight out of 10 products, providing they’re food or clothing. (Ball up that letter to Ferrari right now…dumbass.)
ASK DOCTOR JD

Q: submitted by VZE

Alright Dr. JD.. I have a problem on my hands as everyone else does, but my problem isn't gettin the girl of my dreams... It's keeping her, you see.. Ever since we've gone out, I don't like when she smokes weed, i mean i dont care about the occasional blunt or couple bowl packs, but it's who she chooses to smoke with, now this girl has given weed up for me, something she's done for years, and when she goes to chill with all her old friends about 5 towns over, i can't help but to feel insecure because I don't want her smoking just to spite me for the fact that i get pissed at her for doing it, im so stuck on what to do, i just get too in-secure about this shit, and i can't just make her choose her friends or me.. help!

A:
i have to say i might be a little bit jaded on this one. i have been known to twist one up every now and then. it doesn't matter though..i would still give you the same advice if i didn't. the problems you are having are part of a much bigger topic. namely trust and insecurities in a relationship. they are usually on each other like flies on shit, ho's numbers on stall walls, split stream piss on public toilet seats..you get the picture. i think the fact that you realized your problem with your girlfriend smoking weed raises out of insecurities is a positive thing. sidebar..people that are honest with themselves are usually the easiest to help/advise. you have to realize that you can not give your girlfriend rules, especially ones as arbitrary as not being able to smoke weed. it is not going to do anything anyways. what was the first thing you did when you parents told you not to do something? you need to work on the core of the relationship so that the level of trust between your girlfriend and you is so high that something like that wouldn't even cross your mind to bother you (unless of course she turns into a blithering idiot when she smokes weed..but i do not think that is the case here). if you give your girlfriend the attention she needs, make her cum hard at least once a day and are not a pussy you have nothing in the world to worry about! take this philosophy with everything else you do in life. take care of business, do what makes YOU happy, don't do anything to hurt people and don't sweat what anyone else says or thinks for a millisecond. if you have all your shit in check and you are confident in yourself your girlfriend will not know what to do without you. so don't worry about the little things my friend..take comfort in the fact that you are the creator of the world around you and can make anything happen that you want to. as a wise man once said "There's a force in the Universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen and be the ball. Just be the ball, be the ball, be the ball. You're not being the ball Danny."

-JD

 
Clip OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Musically Gifted!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "music.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "music.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


Get Your Groove On!


Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Wolfgang Seifarth, 65, a German tourist visiting the country of Zambia, saw nothing wrong with getting a quickie in the bushes from a 22-year-old local, but the magistrate had a different idea. Declaring that Wolfgang had committed a "gross abomination against Zambian laws", Magistrate Aloysius Mapate has sentenced the old man to six years with hard labor. No doubt the old man's nutsack shrivelled even further as he realized that choosing to represent himself in the court wasn't the brightest idea. His primary defense had been an unawareness that oral sex was illegal in Zambia; history does not shine kindly on tourists who cause a ruckus and then claim ignorance of the law. He plans to appeal the ruling. Luckily nothing like this happens in America. Well, except for that case three weeks ago where a Kansas teen named Matt Limon was sentenced to seventeen years in prison for Felony Head on another resident of the boarding school he was attending. The ACLU's all over that one like a Zambian whore.

 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the caption that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"THIS is how ya bust a cap in someone's ass" -Kurt
Runners-up
"Guns don't kill people, Crack kills people" -Graffix
"Today, JimBob shows you the new butt plug from Smith and Wesson!" -Drawin
"After being rejected by the Army for his cruel and unusual tactics, Bob decided to take the Afghanistan war into his own hands" -Ryan

Archived Issues:
|06-18-2001 |06-25-2001 |07-02-2001 |07-09-2001 |07-16-2001 |
|07-23-2001 |07-30-2001 |08-06-2001 |08-13-2001 |08-20-2001 |
|08-27-2001 |09-03-2001 |09-10-2001 |09-17-2001 |09-23-2001 |
|10-01-2001 |10-08-2001 |10-15-2001 |10-22-2001 |10-30-2001|
|11-05-2001 |




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