|JOKE OF THE
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign
that reads hamburger: $1; cheeseburger: $2; hand job: $10. He
beckons to an attractive blonde behind the counter. “Can I help
you?” she asks with a knowing smile. “I was wondering,” whispers the
man. “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” “Yes,” she purrs. “I
am.” “Well, wash your hands,” he says. “I want a cheeseburger.”
|SITES OF THE
|All Your Base - Taken Over. |
Machine -Old Webpages come alive.
You Stressed - Take The Test!!
Monkey - How Fast Can You Do It?!
Does Broadway! - Star Of The Night.
|Get Free Stuff In
The Mail! |
|To get free stuff or huge
discount coupons, write letters to big-name companies complaining
that you (or your wife—works better) are dissatisfied with their
product. Be careful to cite the UPC code from the product in
question and mention that it’s usually so good, as you are a regular
user of their goods and/or services. This works better as an e-mail,
and is successful on eight out of 10 products, providing they’re
food or clothing. (Ball up that letter to Ferrari right
Q: submitted by
Alright Dr. JD.. I have a problem on my hands as
everyone else does, but my problem isn't gettin the girl of my
dreams... It's keeping her, you see.. Ever since we've gone out, I
don't like when she smokes weed, i mean i dont care about the
occasional blunt or couple bowl packs, but it's who she chooses to
smoke with, now this girl has given weed up for me, something she's
done for years, and when she goes to chill with all her old friends
about 5 towns over, i can't help but to feel insecure because I
don't want her smoking just to spite me for the fact that i get
pissed at her for doing it, im so stuck on what to do, i just get
too in-secure about this shit, and i can't just make her choose her
friends or me.. help!
i have to say i might
be a little bit jaded on this one. i have been known to twist one up
every now and then. it doesn't matter though..i would still give you
the same advice if i didn't. the problems you are having are part of
a much bigger topic. namely trust and insecurities in a
relationship. they are usually on each other like flies on shit,
ho's numbers on stall walls, split stream piss on public toilet
seats..you get the picture. i think the fact that you realized your
problem with your girlfriend smoking weed raises out of insecurities
is a positive thing. sidebar..people that are honest with themselves
are usually the easiest to help/advise. you have to realize that you
can not give your girlfriend rules, especially ones as arbitrary as
not being able to smoke weed. it is not going to do anything
anyways. what was the first thing you did when you parents told you
not to do something? you need to work on the core of the
relationship so that the level of trust between your girlfriend and
you is so high that something like that wouldn't even cross your
mind to bother you (unless of course she turns into a blithering
idiot when she smokes weed..but i do not think that is the case
here). if you give your girlfriend the attention she needs, make her
cum hard at least once a day and are not a pussy you have nothing in
the world to worry about! take this philosophy with everything else
you do in life. take care of business, do what makes YOU happy,
don't do anything to hurt people and don't sweat what anyone else
says or thinks for a millisecond. if you have all your shit in check
and you are confident in yourself your girlfriend will not know what
to do without you. so don't worry about the little things my
friend..take comfort in the fact that you are the creator of the
world around you and can make anything happen that you want to. as a
wise man once said "There's a force in the Universe that makes
things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop
thinking, let things happen and be the ball. Just be the ball, be
the ball, be the ball. You're not being the ball Danny."
Clip OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you
a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or
sent in by you guys.
to view clip: right click mouse and
choose "save target as" option. save the file "music.wmv" to your
desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "music.wmv"
icon on your desktop to watch the movie.
Get Your Groove On!
contributions or suggestions to mailto:email@example.com?subject=stimes_video.
|Wolfgang Seifarth, 65, a
German tourist visiting the country of Zambia, saw nothing
wrong with getting a quickie in the bushes from a 22-year-old
local, but the magistrate had a different idea. Declaring that
Wolfgang had committed a "gross abomination against Zambian
laws", Magistrate Aloysius Mapate has sentenced the old man to
six years with hard labor. No doubt the old man's nutsack
shrivelled even further as he realized that choosing to
represent himself in the court wasn't the brightest idea. His
primary defense had been an unawareness that oral sex was
illegal in Zambia; history does not shine kindly on tourists
who cause a ruckus and then claim ignorance of the law. He
plans to appeal the ruling. Luckily nothing like this happens
in America. Well, except for that case three weeks ago where a
Kansas teen named Matt Limon was sentenced to seventeen years
in prison for Felony Head on another resident of the boarding
school he was attending. The ACLU's all over that one like a
CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!
This is your chance to
make a difference! Send in the caption that you think best suits
"this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime
"THIS is how ya bust a cap
in someone's ass" -Kurt
"Guns don't kill
people, Crack kills people" -Graffix
"Today, JimBob shows you the
new butt plug from Smith and Wesson!" -Drawin
rejected by the Army for his cruel and unusual tactics, Bob decided
to take the Afghanistan war into his own hands"