For The Week Of 11/14/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. "What the heck," he says to himself, "I really want a drink."

When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, "What's the name of your willy?"

The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink."

The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your willy. Mine for instance is called NIKE, for the slogan 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS, because 'It really Satisfies.' "

The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of yours?"

The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX."

The thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?"

The fella proudly replies, " 'Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!' "

A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fella's on his right, who happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, "So, what do you guys call yours?"

The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because "'Quality is Job One" " Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford lately?"

The guy next to him then says, "I call mine CHEVY.....Like a Rock!" And gives a wink!

Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his manhood. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my willy is SECRET. Now give me a beer."

The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "'Why Secret?"

The cowboy says,

"Because it's "STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Hip-Hop Party Flyers -Old School
Jello Shots -The Most Potent Possible!
Pak track -Track Packages From All Places
PlanB-Cool Video
Shark Attack -Bull Sharks Vs. Trapoon
Escape -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Resturants!
I've got a trick that may be useful. After your all done eating your meal at a restaurant, you decide that you want a dessert...a FREE dessert. No problem. Get up and go to the bathroom. Then have someone that you're with tell the waiter or waitress that it's your birthday. After you get back from the bathroom, you will have all of the waiters and waitress clapping and singing a corny version of Happy Birthday. You'll also have a nice ice cream sundae or piece of cake for free. We do it all the time and we always get the same results...FREE DESSERT!

contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by TARA
What can I say to my lover to get him mad so we can have some rough sex?
A:
There's nothing wrong with enjoying rough sex, but I don't advise that you actually piss your boyfriend off in order to get it. If you say something to him that really makes him mad or hurts his feelings, it could backfire and mess up your relationship -- assuming that you want him to stick around. Trying to provoke your lover into abusing you just isn't healthy for either one of you. Neither is picking a fight with him so you can have hot make-up sex. You probably get turned on by sex feeling a little out of control and dangerous. But it's really better to use your imagination than to create a situation that actually is dangerous and out of control. If you create a role-playing scene and really get into it, it's actually more likely that you'll get exactly what you want sexually. Just tell your boyfriend you want to have rough sex. Tell him it gets you hot to be pushed around, held down, called names, fucked hard, spanked, or whatever it is you want. But make sure it's clear to both of you that this is just an act - he's not really mad at you or trying to hurt you. Agree in advance that either of you can end the scene any time that you want, and agree on a "safe word" that you can say to signal that it's getting to be too much and you want to stop. If your boyfriend needs some encouragement to get into his part, maybe then you can try saying some nasty shit to him, but make sure he understands that you don't really mean it -- it's just part of the game you're playing in bed. Any time you engage in sex that's a little "edgy," where you might get hurt physically or say or do things that could be emotionally upsetting to your partner, it's important to communicate clearly about what is going on, what you want, and what you are doing to each other and why. Both of you need to clearly express and understand what your limits are as far as what is and isn't OK, and be sure that the boundaries are really clear between when you are "playing" and when you are going back to real life. Yes, it takes a little more work to figure all this stuff out and talk about it, and it may seem like a drag at first, but it's worth it to get what you want in a way that is safe and psychologically healthy.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Giving Skateboarding A Bad Name
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "skateboard.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "skateboard.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Police now say an argument caused a 21-year-old man to jump from a moving truck in South Jordan. Tyler Poulson was riding with his brothers last night when he became offended by one of them using profanity. Poulson, who recently returned from an LDS mission, threatened to get out of the truck if he continued. One of the men, not thinking he would, told Poulson to. Earlier police said the car was going about 35 miles an hour when Poulson opened the door and jumped. He was pronounced dead on scene.
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"The grinch who "looted" Halloween"-Jeremy
Runners-up
""ames Brown face it: You have an alcohol problem!"-Kris
"My name is James Brown bitch !!!!!!!"-Buddha



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