For The Week Of 11/15/2004
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a beer. The bartender looks over at the television and exclaims, "Hey, everybody, thereís some psycho driving the wrong way on I-90!" "Oh no!" gasps the man. "My wife takes that highway home after work, and itís about that time." He quickly calls his wife and says, "Watch out, baby, thereís one crazy person going the wrong way on the highway." "One?!" his wife replies. "Thereís a million of them!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Mr. Cartoon -Tattoo Artist!
Music -Hard To Find!
Ifilm -Look At Extremist Treatment Of Muslim Women!
Astral Projection -Email Your Projection For A Tshirt
Any Soldier -Help Out!
Vest -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...FastFoods!
Hereís an easy way to get a free sandwich or drink at a fast food drive-thru. Just place your order, minus one or two items like a drink or second sandwich. When you get to the window, tell the cashier youíd like to add the item(s) you left out. Rather than going through the trouble of changing the order, they will almost always just give you the extra stuff free. Iíve gotten up to two burgers and a drink free with orders in the past.
ASK TINA

Q: submited by jackie0
I want to buy a sex toy, but I don't know the difference between a vibrator and a dildo! How do I decide what to get?

A:
Generally speaking, vibrators are battery-operated or electrically powered devices that buzz or vibrate. They are used mainly for external stimulation, so if you're looking for clitoral titillation -- which most women need to climax -- a vibrator is your best bet. Some suggested types to try: "egg" or "bullet" styles, which have a speed-control lever and can be used for solo satisfaction or with your partner since they fit between the two of you, "hand-free" models that are held in place by straps that resemble a panty or simple body massagers that you can use on your clitoris, as well as on sore muscles. (Body massagers are pretty powerful and often recommended to women trying to achieve the big O for the first time.) When choosing a vibrator, you'll want to consider the intensity of the sensation and the noise level (the softer the material, the quieter the toy). If you want the feeling of penetration, you'll want to try a dildo, which resembles a penis, usually doesn't vibrate and can be used vaginally or anally. (If you want to try back-door play, make sure it has a base specifically designed so it doesn't slide up too far.) When choosing a dildo, you'll want to factor length and width into your decision. And if you're looking for G-spot stimulation, try a phallic-shaped toy with a specially curved top. For the best of both worlds, check out the ever-popular Rabbit, a two-in-one toy: The swirling shaft offers the pleasure of penetration, while the buzzing "rabbit ears" stimulate your clitoris. You can pick up your passion prop at your local sex shop. Or, if you want to be a little more private about your purchase, you'll find plenty of well-stocked online boutiques (like www.babeland.com and www.goodvibes.com) that list items with pictures, descriptions and specifics about cleaning and storage. Some playthings pointers: Read the instructions before using. Avoid materials that may give you an allergic reaction (e.g., latex), and wash your toy with antibacterial soap and hot water before and after use and let it dry completely. If your carnal contraption is made of a porous substance (like jelly rubber or cyberskin, which are harder to clean than nonporous products like silicone), or you want to use your toy vaginally after using it for anal action, cover it with a condom each time it's used to make sure it's clean.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Fountain Of Youth
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "holyshit.mpg" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "holyshit.mpg" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
CHATSWORTH, CA (Wireless Flash) -- Tomorrow (Nov. 16) will be a big day for porn director Seymore Butts -- he'll be looking for the next big male porn star. Butts -- who also appears on the Showtime reality series, "Family Business" -- is holding auditions at his studio in Chatsworth, California, in hopes of finding a man who can handle the rough-and-tumble world of adult film. As you might imagine, it's a hard job. Butts says 95 percent of guys who audition in the adult industry can't keep up with the workload. Butts needs a man who can stay erect for 60 minutes at a time and admits that isn't easy when "two or three beautiful women are providing you with maximum stimulation." In addition, he says guys who are ordinarily good at sex in their bedroom can become gun-shy when the camera is pointing at them. Despite the job stress, Butts says a successful male porn star can earn $100,000 a year and, unlike female stars, have a career that lasts up to 25 years. Interested males who are up for the job can apply by e-mailing Butts at aprstorm@aol.com
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"worlds oldest heat seeking missle!"-Sam
Runners-up
"signs of viagra on an over the hill cruise"-Naz
"the sperm whales always get me excited!!" -Tv



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