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OF THE WEEK
A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happened...but then they danced for the second song too. And the third. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs. A riot broke out, and all the invited guests were hauled off to jail.
In court the next week, the judge asked the best man what happened.
''Your honor, we were just dancing, and the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs.''
''That must have hurt,'' said the judge.
''No kidding,'' said the best man. ''I broke three of my fingers.''
One of the simplest ways to accumulate cash for the holidays is to adjust your tax withholding. The average tax refund last year was just over $2,500. If you have less withheld for the last two months of the year, then this could equal approximately $400 in your pocket. You'll need to ask your HR department to give you another W-4 so that you can adjust your withholding accordingly.
Another easy step to holiday cash is to simply lower your thermostat. If your home has a fireplace, lower that dial by five degrees and chop some wood. You need the exercise to burn off those extra calories and burning a fire adds holiday cheer. The Alliance to Save Energy estimates that every degree you lower your thermostat reduces your energy bill by 5 percent--therefore, a five-degree reduction can lower your bill by one-quarter. For example, if your monthly heating bill is $250, then you could save maybe $60 each month this way. (This idea can serve you well past the holidays.)
Cut those cable and magazine bills through the end of the year. Go online and read your favorite periodicals and check out the library or Redbox for your entertainment. This is a great time to catch free holiday concerts and other shows as well.
Make fewer trips to the grocery store and local restaurants. Your waistline will thank you as well as your wallet. Look for coupons and buy in bulk. If you're having company this year, chances are you'll use up more of it than you think.
For the more mature members of your present-receiving corps, try shopping and giving gifts a week after Christmas when prices have been slashed and sales abound.Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to email@example.com
Is it true that your mate can get a sore throat from oral sex?
There are a number of conditions that can be transmitted through oral sex. Gonorrhea can cause gonococcal pharyngitis, a throat infection that does not always present symptoms but will occasionally give rise to a sore throat.
The spread of warts stemming from HPV infection has been known to occur through oral sex. Chlamydia, herpes, hepatitis, strep throat, and even HIV are all also transmittable in this fashion. If you suspect that you or your partner has contracted one of these conditions, get yourself checked out so it can be resolved as quickly as possible.
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you
a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or
sent in by you guys.
DANBURY -- Police said a man claiming a karaoke disc jockey skipped his song triggered a brawl outside a Main Street restaurant early Saturday.
Police said they responded to a report of a large fight outside Terra Brasilis Restaurant at 59 Main St. at 1:30 a.m.
According to police, the fracas started when Jefferson Gomez, 31, apparently drunk, began arguing with the karaoke DJ, insisting the DJ skipped a song Gomez wanted to sing.
Bouncers threw Gomez out of the restaurant.
However, police said one of Gomez's angry friends, identified as Marcio DaSilva, 25, of Danbury, smashed a beer bottle over the DJ's head.
Bouncers then threw DaSilva out, police said, but the two men, along with a third friend, identified as Jose Burges, continued the fight outside.
When police arrived, a group of people pointed to a convenience store across the street, where the men allegedly responsible for the violence had fled.
Police quickly apprehended DaSilva and Burges.
However, Gomez allegedly got into his car and sped off.
Police pursued and Gomez stopped his car at the intersection of Town Hill Avenue and E. Liberty Street.
Gomez allegedly tried to put the car in reverse and drive away again, but two officers were able to drag him out of the vehicle.
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