For The Week Of 11/17/2014
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of New York City." Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it's the minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years." Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." "Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi-driver and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?" "Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Kim K. -Web Breaker
Skeletor's -Best Insults
Cumming -Or Drumming?
Hot Chicks -In Yoga Pants
Jealous Girls -Looking At Girls
MURDER -Flash Game
TIPS AND TRICKS
Artist Explorer Finds New Music to Listen to Via a Chart

Finding new music to listen to can be tough, but Spotify released a new Artist Explorer tool that helps you find similar artists with a gigantic interactive chart. Artist Explorer works with Spotify, but an account isn't required to use it (just to listen to samples). Just type in an artist you like and you'll see similar artists. Click on one of them to listen to a sample or expand the chart even more to find other similar artists. It's essentially just a visual way to browse Spotify's Related Artists section, but it's a lot more intuitive for hunting down something new to listen to.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by Crazy Dog Lady

"As some of you know, my BF is a professional DJ at a strip club. I know almost everybody at the club he works with including the strippers. What I don't like about the strippers is that they don't seem to want anything to do with me outside the club. BF says that strippers usually don't associate with customers outside the club. He also says that usually strippers are only after one's money, and if you're not feeding the kitty, it's gonna move on to somewhere else. All I want is to be friends with those girls. I'm sure some of you also know that I don't have much exposure outside my Christian community, so I don't really have anybody to talk to about sex and all that stuff. What usually happens at the club is that the strippers will give me their phone numbers, but seldom return my calls. Even if they do answer, it's almost like oh shit, it's the DJ's girlfriend. Has anybody ever had experience with strip clubs before? I also don't really do anything at the strip clubs. I don't like to drink or party. I just go there to wait on the BF to finish his shift and to talk to people. For me, going to the strip club is like going to the park or a new school. :)"

A:

"look, crazy dog lady, strippers are mostly about making money and once they leave their workplace, they don't want constant reminders of where they work."

-Adrian

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

All Fireworks At Once


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
SALT LAKE CITY, UT -- Two men are in jail Saturday after two similar, bizarre incidents. Mapleton City police said 32-year-old Loren Drown was wandering naked down the middle of a street near 1728 North 1600 West and refused to follow police commands. Officers tased Drown three times before taking him to jail. In Orem, officials found a man undressing in the middle of the street after crashing his van near 400 West University Parkway. 25-year-old Louis Nino-Gonzalez was "very non-compliant" and was later tased by an Orem police officer as his behavior was "a danger to others in the area, as well as to himself." Police report that drugs are suspected to have played a role in both arrests.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION--GET FREE STUFF!

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This Weeks



Last Weeks


Winner
"Many men approached but the queefs send 'em running..."-Langdon

Runner-up
"I really thought this outfit would attract more, uh, dicks."-Gary



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