|JOKE OF THE
A man gets sent to prison and, as soon
as he walks in, his huge, buff cellmate says to him, “We’re gonna
play house. Do you want to be the mommy or the daddy?” After
thinking about it for a minute, the man slowly answers, “Well, if I
have to choose, I guess I’ll be the daddy.” “OK,” his cellmate says,
“then get over here and suck mommy’s dick.”
|SITES OF THE
-Shave Your Ass Properly. |
MIT Nerd Test -Freakin Geeks.
|Burger King Emp.
-Turn The Speakers up! |
|Hangover Guide -Party
|Stick Dance -Amusing Flash! |
|Quick Draw -Game Of
The Week! |
|Tip and Trick of
the Week |
To turn in a report days
late without penalty, first create a copy of any nontext file
already on your computer, such as a small image or audio clip.
Change the file’s extension (.jpg, .wav, etc.) to that of any
outdated word processor program you know your school does not use.
WordPerfect (.wps) is usually a good one. The day your paper is due,
bring a copy of the “report” with you on disk and tell your teacher
that your printer is broken. Ask apologetically if you can simply
print it out on the school’s equipment. Their computer either won’t
recognize the format or will unsuccessfully try to convert it.
Explain that you use WordPerfect version 2.0 (or whatever antiquated
program you’ve chosen), and that the school’s software apparently
doesn’t support it. Depending on your instructor’s temperament, you
may have as long as you like to turn it in (i.e., till your
contributions or suggestions to mailto:email@example.com?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
Q: submitted by
hey JD, how the hell are ya? your sight is by far the
best on the net. i have a question for you... heres the situation...
i think weve all been there, you and your girlfriend are going at
it, yada yada yada, eventually the time comes to put on the condom,
and get down to buisness. you go to put on the condom, and the cold
air hits your johnson. you put the thing on and it squeezes the life
out of you, and then of corse you cant feel shit with the thing on.
my question to you is, what are some better versions of birth
control you would recomend? the pill is out of the question at in my
situation (it has adverse effects on my girlfriend) and she wont to
get the shot (sais it can cause infertility). I dont know what any
other alternatives are, so i need your help
i know what you are
saying about the jimmys...they just plain suck. now if your only
worry is the pregnancy thing, and not diseases, then you have a lot
more options. if you are wearing them because you want to protect
yourself from STDs and pregnancy then that is your only option
really (besides both of you getting tested and then you getting a
vasectomy or your girl getting her tubes tied...a solution that is
probably a bit more extreme than what you are looking for!). the
only thing to help the "shrinkage" that can often occur with wearing
a condom is viagra. take that shit and you could stay hard banging a
prostitute with an iron jimmy! plus there is some new stuff coming
out that does the same as viagra without some of the side affects.
now lets go over what your options are if your main concern is the
pregnancy thing. if you've been with your girl and you know she is
disease free then you can try a number of things to keep her from
getting pregnant. i'll go over the options one by one. the ones that
don't work and will give you a false sense of security is the "pull
out" and "rhythm method." practice those bad boys and you'll have a
little one in no time. here are ones that do work: condom, female
condom, pill, norplant, depo shot, diaphragm, spermicides and IUD.
now because your girl doesn't react will with the chemical birth
controls and you don't like condoms we can throw them all away
except for female condom, diapragm, spermicides and IUD. the female
condom works and is supposed to less uncomfortable for the male than
a condom but supposedly looks a little freaky. it is cheap though
(couple bucks more than a condom) so its maybe worth giving it a
try. the diapragm works and many women still use it but it takes a
little bit out of the spontaneity of the act. it has to be put in
within 6 hours of having sex and a girl has to learn how to get in
there correctly. the IUD is old school and can cause infertility if
used for a really long time. the last option is a foam type
spermicide. you fill a tube up of this stuff and inject it in your
girls honey pot before having sex. i think this may be the best
option to try for your particular situation (a no pill or condom
solution). it is also cheap and easy to try. i'll tell you one
thing...skip goin' down on your girl after injecting that stuff.
it's like going down on a kitchen table after getting cleaned with
windex! hope this helps my friend...
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you
a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or
sent in by you guys.
Kung Fu Soccer
to view clip: right click mouse and
choose "save target as" option. save the file "kung.wmv" to your
desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "kung.wmv" icon
on your desktop to watch the movie.
Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org?subject=stimes_video.
|HARARE (Reuters) - A
Zimbabwean woman has told a court that she paraded naked
before a traditional healer as part of a ritual he had
allegedly promised would gain her entry into Britain,
according to a Sunday newspaper. The state-owned Sunday Mail
said the woman had been ordered to strip naked and walk around
the healer, who sprinkled her with water to cleanse evil
spirits. The healer is being tried on criminal injury charges
for allegedly coercing the woman to go through a humiliating
ordeal. Thousands of Zimbabweans are trying to flee the
African country's grave shortage of food and political
turmoil, with Britain a prime destination. But London has
begun requiring Zimbabweans to gain visas for entry. The woman
told the court she became suspicious after the healer charged
her a fee of Z$23,000 (264 pounds) for the ritual, far above
the Z$4,720 she had expected. |
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make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits
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"Wish You Were
"On the next Cock's " When
lesbians attack" . No boys, No boys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna
do when they blue ball you."-Justin
"That's what I call an all
you can eat buffet!"-George
suggestions to mailto:email@example.com?subject=stimes_caption