For The Week Of 11/21/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
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JOKE OF THE WEEK


John is mowing his lawn when he sees a new neighbor moving in. He stops and steps to the fence to see what the new neighbor is like. After calling him over, the new neighbor, Bob, tells says that he is a Professor of Deductive Reasoning at the college.

John- Deductive Reasoning? What's that?

Bob- Well, lemme give you an example. I see you have a doghouse. That leads me to believe you have a dog. If you have a dog, perhaps you have children. If you have children, then I would deduce that you have a wife. By having a wife, you are enforcing that you are a heterosexual.

John- That's pretty neat!

They part ways and John goes to talk to another neighbor, Jerry, who is watching the move.

Jerry- New neighbor, huh? What's he do?

John- He's a Professor of Deductive Reasoning at the college.

Jerry- Deductive Reasoning? What's that?

John- Lemme give you an example. Do you have a dog?

Jerry- No

John- Fag!

- FFL -

SITES OF THE WEEK
Goonies -Revisited!!
Little Foot -Great Flash!
The Movies -Greatest Game Ever!!!!
Tornados-Ifilm
TOwn -Change Names
Geography -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Resturants!
i just figured this one out a couple of days ago. if you are in college and want to get out of a test, just show up real early the day of the test and post a flyer(make it look professional) on the entrance to your class saying that the class has been cancelled that day, for whatever made up reason (teacher is sick, etc..) and the test will be made up on your next class meeting. whenever teachers can't make class they always post one of these things last minute or actually have some secretary do it for them. and so many other students in the class wouldn't even question it and leave before entering the class that the teacher would have to allow the absence. next class you say, "what do you mean calss wasn't cancelled, there was a sign posted on the door?" obviously you can not be seen by any of your classmates putting it up, and never admit to being the one who did. but you get those extra couple of days to study. it also would work for any day you dont feel like showing up.

contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Linds
Whenever I'm fooling around with anybody, I can't get wet. It doesn't matter how horny I am, it just doesn't happen. I would love to solve this, whether it be a mental block or a downstairs problem. Please help!
A:
If you’re able to get wet when you’re masturbating by yourself, it would seem like the problem is psychological. The next time you’re messing around with someone, check in with yourself and see how you’re feeling. Do you feel self-conscious, overwhelmed, or disconnected from your body? These feelings are all normal, but you need to get past them to fully enjoy a sexual encounter. If you feel like you’re holding back, let go. Relax, try to concentrate on your physical sensations, especially “down there”, breathe deeply and breathe into your pelvis. Try to push your breath down toward your vagina when you inhale. This can relax and open up the muscles and blood circulation to your genital area, and may start the lubrication flowing. If you just don’t get wet, ever, the problem may be physical. It could be caused by a hormonal imbalance or a problem with the ducts or glands in the vagina that produce vaginal fluid and lubrication. Don’t be shy about asking your doctor or gynecologist about it. If it turns out that you are unable to produce lubrication for a physical reason, don’t worry – there are plenty of water-based lubes that can help you get wet.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Truth In News
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "news.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "news.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




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STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
VISALIA, Calif. A former high school teacher convicted of having sex with three male students will spend a year in county jail after a judge suspended her prison sentence. Twenty-six-year-old Elizabeth Stow pleaded no contest in June to 12 felony counts, including sexual intercourse with a minor and oral copulation. She was a first-year English teacher at Tulare Western High School. In a hearing today, Tulare County Superior Court Judge Walter Gorelick gave her a suspended prison sentence of nine years and four months. Stow instead will be sent to county jail for one year -- followed by five years of probation with 28 special conditions such as seeking counseling and surrendering her teaching credential. Stow also must register as a sex offender
 
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Winner
"Jenny is studing whorticulture this year"-Jackie
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"being green to the college experience jenny didn't know what to en-roll!"-Jenny
"Mary Jane is Topless!"-Riteey



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