For The Week Of 12/01/2014
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Three bulls heard that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them.

First Bull: "Boys, we all know I've been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don't know where this newcomer is going to get his cows, but I aint' givin' him any of mine." Second Bull: "That pretty much says it for me, too. I've been here 3 years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we've agreed are mine. I'll fight 'im till I run him off or kill 'im, but I'm keeping all my cows." Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and so far you guys have only let me have 10 cows to take care of. I may not be as big as you fellows (yet) but I am young and virile, so I simply must keep all my cows." They no sooner finished their big talk when an eighteen-wheeler pulls up in the middle of the pasture with only one animal in it: the biggest baddest bull these guys had ever seen! At 4700 pounds, each step he took toward the ground strained the steel ramp to the breaking point. First Bull: "You know, it's actually been some time since I really felt I was doing all my cows justice, anyway. I think I can spare a few for our new friend."

Second Bull: "I'll have plenty of cows to take care of if I just stay on the opposite end of the pasture from him. I'm certainly not looking for an argument." They look over at their young friend, the 3rd bull, and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns, and snorting.

First Bull: "Son, let me give you some advice real quick. Let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it." Third Bull: "Hell, he can have ALL MY COWS. I'm just making sure he knows I'm a bull!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Clever -Porn Titles
Awesome -Body Hacks
Anatomy Of -Folk Monsters
An Overload -Of Downblouse
Least Impressive -World Records
One More Line -Flash Game
TIPS AND TRICKS
Stringer Gives You More Control of Music on Shuffle Mode

iPhone: Shuffling your music is usually a pretty simple affair, but if you're looking for a bit more control, Stringer is an app that gives you a ton of control over how shuffle works. Stringer uses "strings" to shuffle music. You start a string with a song then Stringer builds out a shuffled set of songs. Then you can add, move, and delete songs as you go. This way, you can easily listen to a few more songs on an album, add similar songs, and whatever else without messing up the flow of the shuffle.

If you're willing to pay the $4.99 in-app upgrade fee, you can also tag songs as favorites, hide songs, save strings, and access a very useful related artists feed. It's a nice way to curate your shuffled music feed while still keeping the fun of listening to music on shuffle.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by Azurel

"Is it weird tht i think its hot when girls curse and i think its hot to the point where its actually a problem like a few weeks ago me nd my gf got into a fight she started cursing me out nd i got a hardon does anyone else think girls cursing is hot? Does anyone else think its hot to the extent i do? Thx"

A:

"I've met people who can't complete a sentence without using some variation of fuck or shit. I don't know if it's because they're stupid or are so self-centered that they don't care who around them they're offending. I have no problem with people swearing when the situation demands it but not repeatedly in every day speech. I don't know many women speaking like that but I have a very low opinion of those who do."

-TrueLoveSwallows

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Car Skating


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
IOWA CITY, IA -- An Iowa City woman faces drug charges after she locked herself out of her apartment and required police help to regain entry. According to a criminal complaint from Iowa City police, Jailin A. Turner, 19, of 29 W. Burlington St. No. 208, was charged with possession of a controlled substance, possession of drug paraphernalia, failure to affix drug tax stamp and disorderly house. At 12:23 a.m. Friday, police were called to the address for a report of a female banging on a window, according to the complaint. When officers arrived, they found Turner on the balcony of apartment 208 trying to enter the apartment, yelling and kicking the window. Turner told police she lost her keys, the complaint states. During the interaction, Turner threw a plastic patio table off the balcony in the direction of police officers, according to the complaint. Officers unsuccessfully attempted to contact the building’s maintenance and management personnel, and then called the fire department, according to the complaint. Firefighters ultimately broke in the door to help Turner regain entry to her apartment, according to the complaint. While inside the apartment, officers found two bongs in plain view, along with an electronic scale and grinder, according to the complaint. Turner gave the officers consent to search her room and other common areas of the apartment, according to the complaint. Officers discovered two potted plants that appeared to be marijuana, with growing lights placed above them, the complaint states. In total, officers found two bongs, two grinders, an electronic scale, two potted marijuana plants without tax stamps and two growing lights, the complaint states.
 
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This Weeks



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"A moment later and we'd find out why they call him 'Stubs'."-Nick

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"Ten bucks sez this wannabe lumberjack thwacked his own wood."-James



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|11-24-2014 |12-01-2014 |





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