For The Week Of 12/04/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in. One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!," he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall. As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said "On your way, Ma'am." As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, Butt- Naked, and holding his dick in his hand. "Oh, good grief," yelled Ethel, "Not that Damn Breathalyzer Test again.!!!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Ms Paint Porn -Great Whacking Material
Nature's Vagina -In Bloom!
Octopus -Escaping From A 1 Inch Hole!
Maxim -Top Bond Babes
TOp 10 Toys-Just In Time For The Holidays!
The Prison Inmate -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat....Exams!
This oneís an old classic. While preparing for your next exam, take a rubber band and stretch it out as far as you can without snapping it, and tack it down. Next, write whatever it is youíre having so damn much trouble with on the bandís surface. Once you let go and it returns to its non-stretched state, the writing will be totally unrecognizable. Go to the test with the rubber band around your wrist, and when you need the info simply stretch it out, and there it is! contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by T
I started faking orgasms with my guy when we were first dating, but now I want to come clean. How do I do it so he's not totally offended?
A:
Being more honest and open with your man is the first step toward a truly satisfying lust life, but you'll need to dish the news delicately. Set aside a good time to talk privately (don't, for example, confess your Oscar-worthy sexual performances right after a sack session). Then explain that your decision to come clean is difficult, but you are ready to be more real about what you need because your relationship has grown. Offer him some of the reasons for your faux responses. Nervousness and self-consciousness with a new partner and the pressure to climax are common concerns for many women. It will also help if you mention that you get plenty of pleasure with him even without an orgasm. He'll probably be a little stunned -- it'll sting his ego for sure -- but he'll likely understand that your faking wasn't doing either of you a favor and will want to strive for mutual satisfaction. So, make sure you keep the carnal communication channels clear when you and your guy are getting busy. You can verbalize your desires, in a sweet-and-sexy way, of course. Simply saying something like, "I'd love if you touched me here," or "It feels so good when you lick me like that," should do the trick. Or, if you're a little uncomfortable saying what turns you on, you can demonstrate how you want to be touched by placing your hand over his and guiding him. And don't forget to let him know when he gets it right, either by speaking up or letting out some moans of approval. Trust me, he'll appreciate the feedback.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Urban Shoplifter!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "movie.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "movie.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
The Tel Aviv newspaper Yedioth Ahronoth reported in October that the much tighter border security that resulted from the recent war with Hezbollah guerrillas had caused marijuana prices in Israel to jump as much as 800 percent. And, though general tensions between Arabs and Jews remain high inside Israel, prominent ultra-Orthodox Jews joined militant Palestinian Muslims in fierce opposition to the November gay-pride parade in Jerusalem, according to a Boston Globe dispatch. (Said activist Rabbi Yehuda Levin, "Only this onslaught of homosexual radicalism could bring together such disparate voices.") [Reuters, 10-31-06] [Boston Globe, 11-9-06]
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Balls said the Queen, if I had two Id' be king..."-Malcom
Runners-up
"Watch Rosie O'Donnell on the View!"-Mike
"To be a woman in business these days..you gotta have balls."-Alex
"Thats one severe case of penis envy!"-John
"Hillary's First Cousin"-Russ and Kris



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