For The Week Of 12/05/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in Mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So.... you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".

Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!"

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune. "Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Panama Canal -Done in 11 Minutes
Cube Figures -Get A Office Buddy!
Burger King -Holiday Song
Nipple Warmers-A Great Christmas Gift
Forbes -Top 15 Richest Fictional Characters!
Jedi Trainer V2.0 -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Movie Theatres!
Buy a ticket for a movie you want to see, but get it for several hours in advance (at least three or four). Then go in and watch an earlier show. When your movie is finished, walk back out to the ticket counter and tell them that you changed your mind and you don't want to wait in an empty theater any longer for your movie. It doesn't matter that the ticket is already torn because the show hasn't started. I've done this at least 30 times without a problem

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ASK TINA

Q: submited by JD
My girlfriend pushes me away when she starts to come and takes over with her fingers. Is this stingy or what
A:
Your girlfriend obviously knows what she likes. I can't fault her for that. But her behavior is making you feel left out and probably kind of redundant. It may seem like she doesn't trust you to get her off properly, that she's getting impatient, or like she'd rather just be getting off by herself. It may just be that she needs a very specific stimulation to come -- a certain pressure on a certain spot at a certain speed -- and she feels like only she can duplicate it. Some women just have trouble coming if someone else is doing them. Her behavior does seem a little selfish, because she is ignoring you and focusing only on herself and her own orgasm, but if that's what she needs to do to come, it's better than her not coming at all. You should ask her about it and find out exactly what the deal is and why she feels like she has to finish the job herself. Let her know that it makes you feel left out and you'd really like to help make her come. If she needs to be diddled just so to climax, have her demonstrate her technique and see if she can teach it to you. Be patient and practice, and see if you can get it right. If she needs convincing, just point out that if you can do the work, she can lay back and totally focus what she's feeling and relax as she reaches orgasm. If it turns out that she absolutely can only get off while touching herself, you may have to settle for acting in a supporting role. If that's how it's going to be, negotiate the hand-off during sex so that your feelings don't get trampled. If she can tell you, "I'd like to touch myself now," that's a little kinder than just shoving you out of the way. See if there's something you can do to help while she masturbates herself, like sucking her tits, talking dirty to her, or just holding her. That way you'll at least feel a little more involved, and you might even start to enjoy watching her finger herself.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Best Xmas Light Display EVER!!!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "xmas.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "xmas.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Rape crisis counselors and women's advocates are outraged Thursday after a man in Toronto, Canada was found not guilty of raping a woman because he was sleepwalking at the time, according to a Local 6 News report. Canadian lawyers said Jan Luedecke, 33, suffers from a rare condition called sexomnia. The genetic disorder combines sleepwalking with sexual acts and is often brought on by alcohol, according to the report.
 
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Winner
"GHETTO IPoD"-David
Runners-up
"Before there was the Energizer Bunny!"-Manny G
"If I wasn't from Jamaica, why would I wear this hat"-Aron



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