For The Week Of 12/07/2009
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man and a woman were dating. She being of a religious nature had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so bad. In fact, he had never even seen her naked. One day, as they drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits. "I can't stand it anymore," she told him. "Let's play a game. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing. He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car. He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse. At 60 off came the pants. At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties. Now seeing her naked for the first time and travelling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost control of the car. He veered off the road, went over an embankment and hit a tree. His girlfriend was not hurt but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free but alas he was stuck. "Go to the road and get help," he said. "I don't have anything to cover myself with!" she replied. The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes. "You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up," he told her. So she did as he said and went up to the road for help. Along came a truck driver. Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to hear her story. "My boyfriend! My boyfriend!" she sobs, "He's stuck and I can't pull him out!" The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs replies, "Ma'am, if he's in that far, I'm afraid he's a goner!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Remarkable -Sports Scandals.
Ski Jumps -Gone Wrong!
Bed -Jumpers!
Difficult Things -To Say When Drunk!
Oh Shit -Moments!
Sheep Trace -Game of the Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Ways To Get Her Thinking Of You
Tip #1: Use "little things" to woo her. There are a ton of “little things” that women look for to help them make big decisions about what kind of man you are. They instantly tell women whether or not you are worthy of a second thought. Maintaining eye contact, strong posture, not fidgeting; all of these are great things for you to pay attention to. Tip #2: Break the ice online. Women aren't interested in being bored to tears by some guy who says: "Hi, here's my profile, please let me know if you're interested in knowing more." They want a challenge, they want electricity and they want someone who can hold their interest. So, be cocky, funny and playful. Tip #3: Get tons of dates. When guys get a woman’s number, we often start to feel weird about turning right around, talking to another woman, and getting her number too. We don't want to be seen as a "player" or insincere. My advice? Get over it. If you enjoy talking to a woman, and you'd like to get her number and go talk to other women, just say: "Here, write down your e-mail and number. I'm going to get back to being social." Tip #4: Get her number easily. Most guys are very nervous about approaching and starting conversations with women. However, if you can just realize that women want to meet men, and that they want men to approach them, it makes you consider that women probably want guys who aren't acting nervous and insecure.Tip #5: Inquire if you're curious. When it comes to dealing with jealousy, you might even want to do the unthinkable and -- it's a long shot, but -- talk to her about it. Tip #5: Go to a physical level. Kiss her, If at a club, Dance with her and Kiss her some more. Then lead her to another pat of the club and continue to talk to her. If going to another club, take her with you. Tip #6: Go to a physical level - take two. A woman wants to feel that things are developing naturally, not that you are just trying to get her into bed as fast as you can. If the evening unfolds in a normal, natural way, and you can progress from one level to the next, you'll do very well and go far. Why do you lead her to another part of the club and then take her somewhere else? Physically leading a woman is very powerful, and leaving together/showing up somewhere else together changes things. When you arrive at the new place, even though you're the same two people who just met, you're now together at the new place. Tip #7: Be more than just a friend. When a woman says, "I only like you as a friend" or "I've been hurt, so I want to take this slow" or "I like you so much, I don't want to lose you as a friend" -- or any of the million variations of these things -- it usually means that you're not doing the things it takes to create attraction. She doesn't feel it for you. Tip #8: Reverse your role. One of the best ways to tease a woman -- and amp up the attraction -- is to use "reverse gender stereotypes." If a woman says, "Give me your number" you can say: "Look, I'm not that easy... Don't think that just because I give you my number that I'm going to go out with you or sleep with you." Or, if you're talking to a woman at a bar and the conversation is going well, you can say: "OK, let's just cut to the chase: Are you going to offer to buy me a drink or what?" Tip #9: Know when not to tease. Playfully teasing a woman is a great way to show you’re not at all intimidated by her. It’s not about hurting a woman, making her feel bad or being abusive in any way. Tip #10: Keep her once you get her. I think that too many guys make the mistake of assuming that it's all about getting the girl, and they put far too little emphasis on keeping a great girl once they find one. The fact is, until you're in a situation where you've found a great woman who you'd like to keep in your life, you won't realize just how important it is to know how to keep her. Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q:submitted by:Anon

I've been dating this girl for 2 years. We've been having sex since a month in or so, everything was normal until about 6 months ago. During sex, she started to bleed, quite a bit. She said there was no pain, and she was as wet as if I had just used lube (which we don't). Anyway, this happens with nothing uncomfortable on her side. She can't notice until we finish and check, and honestly I can't either because it's usually quite wet in that area, but in the end my penis is covered, usually on the top side, but also a little on the bottom. This happens in all positions. My penis is only about 6.5-7" so I'm not wrecking her. It happens irregularly, every now and then. Doesn't bother me, but it makes her self conscious. She's gone to the doctor, but they didnt know what was wrong. Could you please advise me on this? it's really worrying me that something could be wrong.

A:
Dear Anon, I don't mean to be rude here, but the doctors don't know what's wrong? I find that hard to believe. Something isn't right here. Either this girl doesn't know her cycle very well, which is possible or she's not being completely honest with you. First things first, go get an STD test NOW! This will eliminate any concern for that. Second, I hope you're smart enough to use protection, like birth control for her and condoms for yourself. I honestly can't tell you why she bleeds. This could be happening due to many things like stress on her part from work, family, friends, personal issues and other things that could cause her body to react that way. It could also be if she is just getting over or beginning her menstruation. Either way she needs to go and get some tests done. Tell her to probe her doctor more, yeah I said probe, or get a new one. No chick should settle for "i don't know" from a doctor. It's they're job to know. Till you guys get some answers, take it easy. Do more oral sex and finger play and when you guys have sex try not to get too crazy.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


The Tiger Woods Voicemail Slow Jam Remix!
 
 
Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
PORTAGE, Ind. (AP) - Authorities said they caught an Indiana man riding a bike while balancing a stolen Christmas tree across the handlebars. Police in Portage said they spotted 48-year-old Phillip Menefee about 1 a.m. Friday riding the bike equipped with a homemade motor but no lights. Police had been investigating motor noise near a Christmas tree lot. Police said Menefee had been drinking at a bar and told police he bought the tree from the lot, which is run by Mathisen Tree Farms of Greenville, Mich. When told the lot was closed, police said he said he claimed that bought the tree from the bar. Police arrested Menefee for theft and public intoxication. The $40 tree, which was marked with a tag, was returned. There was no telephone listing for Menefee in Portage area.
 
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