For The Week Of 12/08/2014
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up... The doctor asked the man how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, "Things are great, and I've never felt better! I now have a 20-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that, doc?" The doctor considered the question for a minute, and then began to tell a story. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun."

"As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realized he left his gun at home, and so, he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it was his favorite hunting rifle, and yelled 'bang bang' very loudly. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell dead."

"Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor. The 86-year-old replied, "Hmmmmmmm...well, logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a few rounds into that beaver." The doctor replied, "My point exactly."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Loops -Animated Loops
Japan's -Phallus Festival
Strip Club -Brick Center
Offensively -Decadent Homes
Everybody Knows -Shit Fuck
The Last Door -Flash Game
TIPS AND TRICKS
Google Now Can Provide Countdowns to Major Holidays

At the moment, most of you are probably counting down to about twelve different holidays or events. Sorting through how much time you have is math you don't need right now. Google Now is making it a bit easier by giving you countdowns to holidays it recognizes. As Android Police points out, if you create a reminder in Google Now, you will now get a handy little red label that tells you how many days you have left until the event. It doesn't seem to be tied in to your calendar, so custom events won't have their own label (or birthdays, sadly), but hopefully Google will expand it over time. It's also worth mentioning that, since you can see your reminders in Inbox, this is particularly handy. In our tests, this didn't work on older versions of the Google (formerly Search) app. If you're still on an older version—anything pre-4.0, really—Android Police's sister site APK Mirror has downloads and instructions here. Unrooted users on KitKat or older may have trouble, but rooted users, or those running Lollipop can fix the incompatibility issues. Or you can wait til this version rolls out to everyone. Hopefully it won't be after the holidays.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by cluelessWorld

"My bf of almost 3 years has no idea that I'm planning on leaving him when a better guy comes along. Is that bad...?"

A:

"if you already know u'll leave him, then fuck it- cut the cord already! stringing him along is what a "bad" person would do....."

-Adrian

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Skating on a Crystal Clear Lake


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
FRANCE -- A Frenchman may have come up with the perfect solution to one of life's major problems after he claimed to have invented a pill that makes bodily gases smell like roses and chocolate. The 65-year-old inventor Christian Poincheval from north-western France has added a chocolate flavour to his repertoire of scented pills which are all designed to make the smell of flatulence much more pleasant. Just in time for the festive season Poincheval has added a new line to his array of pills - “The Father Christmas fart pill that gives your farts the scent of chocolate”. “It’s a nice present for the festive season,” he told The Local on Tuesday. "There will be a real need for these pills over Christmas."

Poincheval, who has been involved in homeopathy, claims the all-natural herbal medicine not only facilitates intestinal transit, but also neutralises the odour of the gas let out. According to the website that sells the pills, which also come in rose and violet scents, the herb mixture also helps reduce bloating. He said he began developing them six years ago after a rather disagreeable dinner with friends. "We had just come back from Switzerland and we were eating a lot with our friends and the smell from the flatulence was really terrible. We couldn't breathe so me and friend decided something had to be done," Poincheval said. "When we were vegetarian we noticed that our gas smelt like vegetables, like the odour from a cow pat, but when we started eating meat, the smell of the flatulence became much disagreeable," he said. "We needed to invent something that made them smell nicer."
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"The smell of fresh pink snapper enticed the semen that night."-Lewis

Runner-up
"A wild naked chick appears! It's super effective!"-Brent



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