For The Week Of 12/09/2013
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

SITES OF THE WEEK
The Apt. -Broker Bodega
United States -Penis Size
The Dumbest -Police Chase
Twelve Shoes -For Twelve Lovers
Give the Gift of GIF -With Gif Pop
Hotline Trail -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Screen Lock Lets You Show Photos While Staying Locked

Android: There are times when you want to show people something on your mobile and physically hand over the device, but you want to be sure that they don't go through your phone. Screen Lock is the simplest way to do that. Download and install the APK (you will need to have Unknown Sources enabled in your settings) created by elesbb from the XDA Developers Forum. You need to first set an unlock gesture to reaccess the phone. Then, choose from the options to keep the screen on, show the gesture pattern as it is being drawn, and to keep an item in the notification menu to quickly switch on the Screen Lock. Screen Lock can be activated by either tapping that notification item or long-pressing the Search button. When you do that, the app freezes the screen (or it seems like it takes a screenshot and displays that), not taking any touch input. To once again use the phone, you need to draw the unlock gesture pattern you set earlier. While this works great on a touch-only device like the Nexus phones and tablets, it comes undone on devices with physical keys; tap the physical Home button and you will be taken back to your home screen, rendering this app useless.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by Sean

"I totally understand that some women believe that anal sex will be painful, but even the ones that don't think it is won't even try it. You don't even have to bring it up, just think the word 'anal' and they're like 'Oh hell no, I'm not doing that.' Why so afraid, ladies?"

A:

"Probably because the guys don't first have her shove a dildo up his ass to prove how easy it is. I'm sure that would enable him to demonstrate how easy and painless it could be, plus prove that he wouldn't ask her to do anything he wouldn't do himself."

-TrueLoveSwallows

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

The Swirl


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
KANSAS CITY, MO -- It took a few weeks of research, but National Geographic has confirmed that pop star Lorde was referring to a photo of Kansas City Royals’ baseball legend George Brett when she explained where she got the inspiration for her megahit “Royals.” In an interview a few months ago with VH1, Lorde (real name Ella Yelich-O’Connor) explained how she “had this image from the National Geographic of this dude just signing baseballs. He was a baseball player and his shirt said, ‘Royals.’ “It was just that word. It’s really cool.” After The Star wrote a story on Nov. 19 about the interview, an astute reader found a photo that matched the description. The photo, published in July 1976, shows the star third baseman surrounded by adoring fans and signing baseballs. According to a National Geographic spokeswoman, “this appears to be the only photo in our archives of a Royals baseball player signing autographs.” How the 17-year-old songstress from New Zealand saw a copy of a 37-year-old magazine is still a mystery. In an interview with nationalgeographic.com last month, photographer Ted Spiegel said he hadn’t heard of the connection between his photo and the song.

Asked about the day he took the photo, he said, “What I remember was sheer adulation. There was one girl who worked in the Kansas City Royals office who had what we would now call a large reaction to George Brett. Her eyes melted just gazing at him. He had star power. He was an all-American in image and in bat. “All those hands holding the baseballs are adulating fans, and in Lorde’s interview, she talked about how the royals were rock stars in their day. George Brett proved to be a sports star in his day. In 1976, he became the American League batting champion. By 1999, he was inducted into the Hall of Fame.”

Spiegel then went on to explain the assignment he had in Kansas City. “The July 1976 National Geographic was a great birthday card to our democratic nation. And I was assigned to do two articles specifically for that issue. One was Kansas City, the America of today, and the other one was about George Washington, the founding father who refused to become a royal. “Do you see the irony of it all?”
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"Mailbox mouth does not swallow spam."-Marcus

Runner-up
"He's sad about having no mail friends."-Brett



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