“Doctor,” the embarrassed man said, “I have a sexual problem. I can’t get it up for my wife anymore.” “Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do.” The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife. “Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas,” the doctor says. “Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put your clothes back on.” The doctor took the husband aside. “You’re in perfect health,” he said. “Your wife didn’t give me an erection either.”

Q: submitted by Vette

My man and I have been together for 5 years now. We have three kids together and we live together. In the beginning of our relationship everything was all fine and dandy. He did everything for me. I never had to ask for anything twice. I fell in love with him and I vowed that he was "THE ONE". I gave up all of my male friends and just focused on us and the rest of our life. I loved him and wanted him to be my husband. Well, after two years of bliss I found out that my man was seeing my close friend behind my back. He was seeing her, and taking her around his family, and taking her out like he just didn't care if I was to find out. This went on about 5 months behind my back. She told me everything that happened and I asked him about it and he said he doesn't want to talk about it and that he made a mistake. Being in love I took him back and he still does things like get females' phone numbers and he still talks to other females. I feel so stupid for letting him do this to me. Anyway, he has a friend who I am very, very attracted to. I fantasize about him all the time and what it would be like to have a fling with him. We flirt with each other on the side but it hasn't gone any further. I want it to go further so I can feel like I got my boyfriend back but I would rather my boyfriend didn't find out about it. I also think that if I messed around with his friend that something more might occur. Am I wrong for wanting to do this? I love my boyfriend but I can't get over what he did to me. Please let me know if I'm solving this the right way? Vette (23 year-old woman) from Cleveland, Ohio

A:
i'm really sorry that someone you care about so much hurt you so bad. sometimes life can be a real pisser. even if you wanted to you could never trust him a 100% like you once did. you need to explain to him how this behaviour makes you feel. you also need to ask him what drives him to behave like this. do not accept an answer like "i don't want to talk about it." explain to him that the relationship needs work. if he is unwilling to put an effort into trying to repair it then you are at a dead end street. any time kids are involved it makes splitting up 10 times more difficult but you have to understand an enviroment where you are unhappy is no good either. anything is possible and life and you could easily turn your relationship around and take it to a whole new level...but it takes two comitted parties to make this happen. it is simply not possible any other way. as far as getting back by fooling around with his friend...bad idea. it is TOTALLY understandable to have feelings like you are having, and you are not at all "wrong" for feeling this way, but you have to understand revenge isn't going to help the situation. i think you will find that it won't make you feel any better and will make it just that much harder to repair your relationship. you simply have to find it in your heart to forgive him and try and build up trust again. any difficult problem needs to be solved from the root and the root you and your boyfriend need to attack is trust and communication. you guys HAVE to be able to talk about your respective wants and needs and you HAVE to be able to trust that you are being honest with each other. get these two in check and i think you will find your relationship at whole new level. if he does not want achieve this new level do not worry...you sound like a wonderful woman and i PROMISE you that there are tons of great guys out there that would love to develop an amazing relationship with you. just always be optimisic and know that you can make anything you want to happen happen. ;-)

-JD