|JOKE OF THE
Did you hear abut the young white male
that was about to graduate from college with his Law degree and a
Degree in Business Science? He felt he needed a wife to further his
career in the business world. He wanted to marry a nice girl, not
the type of girls he had been dating and sleeping with. He wanted a
virgin as pure as the driven snow. He began his search. Each time he
met a girl, after several dates, he would show them his penis. Each
time he would ask what they called the instrument he was showing.
Each time the reply would be something like, prick, cock, dick, love
stick, etc. Finally one night he showed his tool to a sweet innocent
girl that just had to be a virgin. When he ask her what she called
the thing he was displaying to her she replied "It's a peepee!"
Knowing he finally had found the virgin he had been looking for, he
ask her to marry him. Without delay they were married. The first
night in the honeymoon suit he again showed her his tool and again
ask her what she call it. Again, she called it a peepee. Because of
his macho image of himself he immediately told her that from now on
she could call his love tool a "prick". She replied "Oh no!! I can't
do that!!" She immediately held up her hands with approximately
fourteen inches between them and said "A PRICK IS THIS LONG AND
|SITES OF THE
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-The Monkey. |
Hot -Brazilian Models!! |
|Kill One or All
-Beverly Hills 90210! |
Your Girlfriend -Great Sex Ideas.
|Free Groceries! |
|Want some free groceries? I
began this little habit in college when money was tight. Simply pass
off coupons for groceries you didnt buy. This trick works best when
you have at least $75 worth of groceries, and you have a nice stack
of legitimate coupons to go with them. Every Sunday I go through the
coupons and tear out a few extra 50 or 75 cent coupons for products
I have no intention of buying, and mix them into my regular coupons
and off I go to the grocery store. Another tip is to look for
coupons that are similar to what you'd buy, but aren't exactly the
same, for example a different brand of juice or cereal. That way if
you should ever happen to get caught (which you won't) you can say
you grabbed the wrong brand, or that you meant to get the product
but you forgot it. It works even better if the store is crowded.
However, don't try to pass off expired coupons, cashiers look for
those, because they get reprimands from their managers for accepting
them. Don't get crazy either, limit it to 3-5 coupons or $3-$4. This
isn't the biggest scam in the world, but it's practical because
EVERYONE has to grocery shop, and who doesnt want $10 in free
groceries a month? |
Q: submitted by
I am going to visit my kinky-as-hell boyfriend
soon. I promised him I would bring along some toys and I am not sure
which vibrator to get. There are so many of them out there, one of
them has got to be better than the others? There are bullet shaped
ones with what looks like a remote control and then there are the
ones that look like real penises. I thought you might be able to
help me and I didn't really know who else to ask. So if you can
offer any words of wisdom on vibrators, I would greatly appreciate
it. Ummm, do you have any other suggestions about how I can make
this trip totally xxx-rated?
sounds like you are
going to have a great weekend. are you bringing your camera? j/k.
ok, lets get down to business. let me start off by saying you sound
like an awesome girlfriend. take some notes ladies..a girl that
takes an active roll in spicing up the sex is always going to keep a
man. some ladies may say that they do not feel comfortable playing
with toys in front of a man -- i say hogwash..you only live once!
loosen up and enjoy one of lifes few free pleasures! ;-) i suggest
you bring two toys. one to do a little show for your boyfriend and
one for actual intercourse. if you really want to blow his mind and
get your pussy to cum ridiculous get the jack rabbit vibrator. it is
actually a dildo and a vibrator. the dildo part has vibrating pearls
inside that cause the shaft to expand and it has a pair of rabbit
ears that stick out and vibrate to stimulate the clitoris. talk
about foreplay. give yourself about 10 minutes with this thing while
your boyfriend watches and watch out. you'll cum all over the sheets
and his cock will be rigid hard from seeing you squirm and cum so
good. now that you got him ready to explode and your pussy is all
warmed up jump to some intercourse. here you are going to use a
little vibrator, which i'm sure you've heard of, called the pocket
rocket. it is a little guy but packs a punch. the combo of having
the real thing inside you now and this powerful little vibrator on
your clit will result in a mind blowing orgasm -- and when your
boyfriend sees you rubbing that vibrator frantically over your clit
and cumming over and over again he is going to have the orgasm of
his life (at this point i'd just be getting warmed up and ready for
some real bedroom activity but we'll save that for another issue).
oh yeah..get some water based lube too so that the vibrator runs
smoothly over your clit. good luck and drop me an email to let me
know how it goes.
Clip OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you
a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or
sent in by you guys.
to view clip: right click mouse and
choose "save target as" option. save the file "boob.mpeg" to your
desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "boob.mpeg"
icon on your desktop to watch the movie.
Big Brown Boob Smut!
contributions or suggestions to mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org?subject=stimes_video.
|A 49-year-old grandmother
has been charged with prostitution and running a bondage den
in the basement of her home where her two grandsons live,
police said. Jacquess Dyer Patton-Ugan was arrested Monday
when police raided her home and confiscated an extensive array
of sexual devices and bondage equipment, including whips and a
wooden horse with padding and straps, according to police.
Police also confiscated photographs, customer questionnaires
and paperwork, among other items. Police said the woman is
suspected of advertising on a Web site in which potential
customers are encouraged to explore the erotic world of
domination in ``the confines of Madame Venus Du Plaisir's
Paradise.'' The Web site showed Madame Venus standing on a
patio scantily dressed in a police uniform. Detectives
contacted her over the Internet and eventually made an
appointment for a $175 consultation. According to the criminal
complaint, the woman outlined a series of sexual and bondage
acts she would perform and scheduled a one-hour appointment
for Monday. The undercover officer posing as a customer filled
out a questionnaire and was taken to the basement where she
explained how the bondage equipment worked. The officer then
signaled police who stormed the home and arrested the woman
and her husband. According to an affidavit, police also are
investigating reports that the grandsons, ages 10 and 12, had
seen their grandmother having sex with people other than their
grandfather. The woman's husband Richard Lyle Ugan,60, was
charged with keeping a house of prostitution. The criminal
complaint said that while the woman admitted to performing
numerous sadomasochistic acts over the past two years, her
husband said that he let his wife play in her basement room.
But, he prohibited her from having sex or charging people.
CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!
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"I dunno man...I dont think
the clerk at the convienance store is gonna be to
horrible band-$2.00... Your sisters blue thong- Stolen... Having a
dick so small you need to wear a mask- PRICELESS! " -gray
Cocko knew his undefeated streak would stay intact against the
homophobic American pro-wrestlers..." -Funk
"Peter Porker the
Spectacular Spider-Ham was unhappy about the location of his new