Did you hear abut the young white male that was about to graduate from college with his Law degree and a Degree in Business Science? He felt he needed a wife to further his career in the business world. He wanted to marry a nice girl, not the type of girls he had been dating and sleeping with. He wanted a virgin as pure as the driven snow. He began his search. Each time he met a girl, after several dates, he would show them his penis. Each time he would ask what they called the instrument he was showing. Each time the reply would be something like, prick, cock, dick, love stick, etc. Finally one night he showed his tool to a sweet innocent girl that just had to be a virgin. When he ask her what she called the thing he was displaying to her she replied "It's a peepee!" Knowing he finally had found the virgin he had been looking for, he ask her to marry him. Without delay they were married. The first night in the honeymoon suit he again showed her his tool and again ask her what she call it. Again, she called it a peepee. Because of his macho image of himself he immediately told her that from now on she could call his love tool a "prick". She replied "Oh no!! I can't do that!!" She immediately held up her hands with approximately fourteen inches between them and said "A PRICK IS THIS LONG AND BLACK!!"

Q: submitted by Amber

I am going to visit my kinky-as-hell boyfriend soon. I promised him I would bring along some toys and I am not sure which vibrator to get. There are so many of them out there, one of them has got to be better than the others? There are bullet shaped ones with what looks like a remote control and then there are the ones that look like real penises. I thought you might be able to help me and I didn't really know who else to ask. So if you can offer any words of wisdom on vibrators, I would greatly appreciate it. Ummm, do you have any other suggestions about how I can make this trip totally xxx-rated?

A:
sounds like you are going to have a great weekend. are you bringing your camera? j/k. ok, lets get down to business. let me start off by saying you sound like an awesome girlfriend. take some notes ladies..a girl that takes an active roll in spicing up the sex is always going to keep a man. some ladies may say that they do not feel comfortable playing with toys in front of a man -- i say hogwash..you only live once! loosen up and enjoy one of lifes few free pleasures! ;-) i suggest you bring two toys. one to do a little show for your boyfriend and one for actual intercourse. if you really want to blow his mind and get your pussy to cum ridiculous get the jack rabbit vibrator. it is actually a dildo and a vibrator. the dildo part has vibrating pearls inside that cause the shaft to expand and it has a pair of rabbit ears that stick out and vibrate to stimulate the clitoris. talk about foreplay. give yourself about 10 minutes with this thing while your boyfriend watches and watch out. you'll cum all over the sheets and his cock will be rigid hard from seeing you squirm and cum so good. now that you got him ready to explode and your pussy is all warmed up jump to some intercourse. here you are going to use a little vibrator, which i'm sure you've heard of, called the pocket rocket. it is a little guy but packs a punch. the combo of having the real thing inside you now and this powerful little vibrator on your clit will result in a mind blowing orgasm -- and when your boyfriend sees you rubbing that vibrator frantically over your clit and cumming over and over again he is going to have the orgasm of his life (at this point i'd just be getting warmed up and ready for some real bedroom activity but we'll save that for another issue). oh yeah..get some water based lube too so that the vibrator runs smoothly over your clit. good luck and drop me an email to let me know how it goes.

-JD