For The Week Of 12/18/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students. Realizing that this was not his most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. Pointing to a young woman in the front row the professor asked, "Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?" And the young woman replied, "Probably deer hunting with his buddies."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Top Videos -of 2006
Verizon Math -WTF?
Pauly Shore -Gets Hit!
Google Patent -Awesome!
Time-Year In Pics!
GROW V-1 -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Bill Paying!
Spent all your cash on Cheetos and lesbian midget porn again? If your rent is due today and you need more time to restock your checking account, here's a way to buy yourself a couple extra days. Use the thickest-tipped black pen you have and sign your name so it goes below the line and onto the numbers under your signature. If you block enough of the numbers, the machines won't be able to route the check and it will need to be entered by hand. This takes a lot longer—thank God for lazy bankers—and will give you an extra day or two before the check bounces. Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by First Time Freddy
I’ve been out of the sex game for a while, but just recently my new girlfriend and I decided to take things a little further. I’m a little worried about having sex with her for the first time, because I don’t want to disappoint her. Do you have any suggestions on getting back into the swing of things as quickly as possible? –Ready Rider

A:

Are you ready for this? To make sure your new girl gets the best of what you got when you get biblical for the first time, see that it’s all about her. Make foreplay a major part of your game plan, taking a goodly amount of time to tend to all her girlie parts. In fact, if you really want to wow her, do everything you can to make her see those stars before you ever slide in to home. “But won’t I be neglected in the process?” you ask. “Hell no,” says me. See, this is one of those give/get situations wherein the enthusiasm with which you are rewarded is in direct proportion to the effort you put in. The more you insist on making your girl hit those home runs, the more she’s going to want to show you a few major league plays of her own. And, not to mention, by focusing all your attention on her, you lessen the effect of the opening-night jitters you’re likely to have if you haven’t been on the field for some time. Remember, though, if for some reason your little batter does fail you in the first inning, take it in stride. Performance anxiety usually lessens after the first few rounds, and you’ll be pitching a perfect game before you know it!

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Doggy Style!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "movie.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "movie.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
A top Indian woman athlete who won a silver medal at a recent regional championship has failed a gender test, officials say. Santhi Soundararajan, who took the silver in the women's 800m race at the Asian Games in Doha, is likely to be stripped of her medal, reports say. Soundararajan, 25, was declared the best athlete at an Indian championship in the capital, Delhi, this year. In 1999, a woman in an Indian state football team failed a gender test. "Santhi was subjected to a gender test in Doha and we have received the report which says she failed the test," said Manmohan Singh, chairman of the Indian Olympic Association's Medical Commission. Soundararajan is refusing to comment. "I was not informed about the test results and I don't know much on that. I do not want to talk about it," she told journalists. The test is not mandatory, but is carried out if officials want it or a rival team protests, reports say. KP Mohan, a sports journalist, said athletes were usually examined by a team of doctors, including a gynaecologist, endocrinologist and psychologist, and put through physical and clinical examinations during a gender test. The test was carried out soon after Soundararajan came second in the women's 800m race on 9 December. Reports say the athlete cleared the gender test at the Asian track and field championship in South Korea last year where she won the silver medal in the 800m. It is not clear how she failed the test at the Asian Games in Doha. This is the second controversy to hit Indian athletes within a month - female shot putter Seema Antil was withdrawn from the Asian Games after she failed a pre-competition dope test.
 
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This Weeks



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"New headgear for European "Shitheads"-Russ
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"How to cure "Shit for Brains"-Woody
"Great taste AND less filling!"-Jaime
"Of course I’m a Longhorn fan."-chazz
"Mr Clean and the Tidy bowl man adopted a son"-olay



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