|JOKE OF THE
An old retired sailor puts on his old
uniform and goes down to the docks once more for old times’ sake. He
hires a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He’s going at it as
best as he can for a guy his age. The old sailor asks, “How am I
doing?” The prostitute replies, “Well, sailor, you’re doing about
three knots.” “Three knots?” he replies, “What’s that supposed to
mean?” She says, “You’re knot hard, you’re knot in, and you’re knot
getting your money back.”
|SITES OF THE
Detection Kit -Get The Cheaters!
|Big Ass Titties -Hell Ya! |
|12 Honeys Of Christmas
|Stop Looking At Porn -Why? |
|Man 1 -Bank 0 |
Bowling -Game Of The Week!
|Tip and Trick of
the Week |
|This may work with other
carriers, but it definitely works with SprintPCS. Simply access
their automated, voice-activated customer service system by dialing
*2. When that bitch Claire asks, “How can I help you?” simply say,
“Dropped Call.” This magic phrase will credit your account with one
minute of talk time at their highest billing rate, or approximately
$0.50. With no limit set on the number of times you can do it, they
may end up paying a significant portion of your bill. |
Q: submited by
I'm intrigued with the phenomenon of "morning wood."
My boyfriend wakes up with a hard-on every morning but says he's not
always aroused because of it. Why does this happen to guys?
It's common for
men to have erections during the night -- a phenomenon known as
nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT) -- throughout their life. In fact,
the penis can actually stay erect longer and be noticeably harder
when a guy is asleep than when he's fully aroused and awake. While
we don't know exactly why NPT happens, we do know these erections --
a guy can have three to five a night -- are caused by electrical
impulses in the brain that tend to occur during the REM (Rapid Eye
Movement) stages of sleep. So, when your dude comes out of the REM
cycle when he first wakes up, he may have a still have a raging
boner. But it isn't necessarily synonymous with excitement. If he is
feeling randy in the morning, chances are it's because of his
testosterone level, which can peak in the A.M.
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you
a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or
sent in by you guys.
to view clip: right click video and
choose "save target as" option. save the file "crazyjump.wmv" to
your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new
"crazyjump.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.
Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:email@example.com?subject=stimes_video.
|BEIJING (AP) - In what
would be a definite no-no in traditional beauty contests, a
22-year-old student who's had cosmetic surgery on her eyelids
and cheeks was crowned the winner Saturday of China's first
pageant for "manmade beauties." Feng Qian received a country
club membership worth $7,400 Cdn after being picked from among
20 finalists, who ranged in age from 18 to 62. Surging numbers
of newly prosperous Chinese are going under the knife after
decades of communist austerity, seeking shapelier noses,
fuller breasts and improvements to other features. "I think
this contest offered a platform for all the girls who have
undergone plastic surgery and aren't willing to talk about
it," Feng told reporters after the ceremony. "This is
recognition of the girls like us." Wearing a gold sleeveless
gown and a winner's crown of flowers, the student from
northeastern Jilin province said she hopes to become a plastic
surgeon herself one day. The event was organized after an
18-year-old woman was disqualified from another Chinese beauty
pageant this year on the grounds that she'd had cosmetic
surgery. Competitors had to submit proof that they had
undergone surgery. Sponsors included Chinese makers of
cosmetic surgery products. The contest had a talent show and
evening gown and swimsuit competitions. Liu Xiaojin, a
21-year-old transsexual who was a man until three years ago,
shared a prize for Best Media Image with a retiree, Liu Yulan,
who has had a facelift and three other procedures. Other
prizes handed out included Most Intelligent and Best Figure.
Organizers said 90 women from other countries, including the
United States and Japan, applied to compete. But they said the
non-Chinese applicants were deemed not serious enough about
the contest or had language or scheduling problems. The
government says China's cosmetic surgery industry took in
almost $3 billion Cdn last year. China also has eagerly
embraced the notion of beauty pageants and modelling contests.
The southern Chinese beach resort of Sanya hosted the Miss
World pageant for the last two years and is to be the site of
the event again next year. |
CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!
This is your chance to
make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits
"this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime
"Where Muffy goes nothing
"You cant beat that freshly
mowed feeling. Oh Yeah"-Frank
"An old fashioned ho-down... :-)"
contributions or suggestions to mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org?subject=stimes_caption