For The Week Of 12/20/2004
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the docks once more for old times’ sake. He hires a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He’s going at it as best as he can for a guy his age. The old sailor asks, “How am I doing?” The prostitute replies, “Well, sailor, you’re doing about three knots.” “Three knots?” he replies, “What’s that supposed to mean?” She says, “You’re knot hard, you’re knot in, and you’re knot getting your money back.”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Semen Detection Kit -Get The Cheaters!
Big Ass Titties -Hell Ya!
12 Honeys Of Christmas -FHM!
Stop Looking At Porn -Why?
Man 1 -Bank 0
Holiday Bowling -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Cell Phones!
This may work with other carriers, but it definitely works with SprintPCS. Simply access their automated, voice-activated customer service system by dialing *2. When that bitch Claire asks, “How can I help you?” simply say, “Dropped Call.” This magic phrase will credit your account with one minute of talk time at their highest billing rate, or approximately $0.50. With no limit set on the number of times you can do it, they may end up paying a significant portion of your bill.
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Jackie
I'm intrigued with the phenomenon of "morning wood." My boyfriend wakes up with a hard-on every morning but says he's not always aroused because of it. Why does this happen to guys?

A:
It's common for men to have erections during the night -- a phenomenon known as nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT) -- throughout their life. In fact, the penis can actually stay erect longer and be noticeably harder when a guy is asleep than when he's fully aroused and awake. While we don't know exactly why NPT happens, we do know these erections -- a guy can have three to five a night -- are caused by electrical impulses in the brain that tend to occur during the REM (Rapid Eye Movement) stages of sleep. So, when your dude comes out of the REM cycle when he first wakes up, he may have a still have a raging boner. But it isn't necessarily synonymous with excitement. If he is feeling randy in the morning, chances are it's because of his testosterone level, which can peak in the A.M.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Crazy Jump
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "crazyjump.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "crazyjump.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
BEIJING (AP) - In what would be a definite no-no in traditional beauty contests, a 22-year-old student who's had cosmetic surgery on her eyelids and cheeks was crowned the winner Saturday of China's first pageant for "manmade beauties." Feng Qian received a country club membership worth $7,400 Cdn after being picked from among 20 finalists, who ranged in age from 18 to 62. Surging numbers of newly prosperous Chinese are going under the knife after decades of communist austerity, seeking shapelier noses, fuller breasts and improvements to other features. "I think this contest offered a platform for all the girls who have undergone plastic surgery and aren't willing to talk about it," Feng told reporters after the ceremony. "This is recognition of the girls like us." Wearing a gold sleeveless gown and a winner's crown of flowers, the student from northeastern Jilin province said she hopes to become a plastic surgeon herself one day. The event was organized after an 18-year-old woman was disqualified from another Chinese beauty pageant this year on the grounds that she'd had cosmetic surgery. Competitors had to submit proof that they had undergone surgery. Sponsors included Chinese makers of cosmetic surgery products. The contest had a talent show and evening gown and swimsuit competitions. Liu Xiaojin, a 21-year-old transsexual who was a man until three years ago, shared a prize for Best Media Image with a retiree, Liu Yulan, who has had a facelift and three other procedures. Other prizes handed out included Most Intelligent and Best Figure. Organizers said 90 women from other countries, including the United States and Japan, applied to compete. But they said the non-Chinese applicants were deemed not serious enough about the contest or had language or scheduling problems. The government says China's cosmetic surgery industry took in almost $3 billion Cdn last year. China also has eagerly embraced the notion of beauty pageants and modelling contests. The southern Chinese beach resort of Sanya hosted the Miss World pageant for the last two years and is to be the site of the event again next year.
 
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"Where Muffy goes nothing grows!!"-Vick
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"You cant beat that freshly mowed feeling. Oh Yeah"-Frank
"An old fashioned ho-down... :-)" -B



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