For The Week Of 12/23/02
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A drunken sailor gives a hooker $100, and they proceed to a back bedroom. After a few minutes, the sailor asks, “How am I doing?” “About three knots,” says the hooker. “Three knots?” asks the sailor. “What are you talking about?” “You’re not hard, you’re not in, and you’re not getting your money back.”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Urban Dictionary -Fo' Shizzle My Nizzle.
Ass Or Elbow -Good Quiz.
White Trash Christmas Song. -Hilarious!
5 Most Eligble Winos -Could You Be The One!
Twin Towers Christian Warning -WTF!
V-Force -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat....Spending Tickets!

In larger metropolitan areas, if you get a citation for speeding or anything else that doesn’t involve a wreck or some kind of misdemeanor, you can easily get it reduced with no points. How? No. 1: Plead not guilty! Even if you were testing to see if your car goes as fast as your speedometer says it does, still plead not guilty. Next, you’ll be brought before a judge. Still plead not guilty. He’ll rule that you pay at least the amount of your ticket, blah, blah, blah. Then you’ll go meet the district attorney—this is where the fun begins. Because actually going to court costs so much, (especially over a mere traffic citation) generally what they’ll do is offer you a reduced penalty, most often a parking ticket that costs half as much with no points associated. And you? You’re back in the saddle practicing to be Mario Andretti’s next of kin.

contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK DOCTOR JD

Q: submitted by B

i need some gift ideas for my boyfriend for x-mas. any ideas?

A:
i've got some good ones for ya! here they are:

1. remote control dragan fly. 750 bucks.
2. remote control micro racers. 20 bucks.
3. forbes subscription. 25 bucks.
4. sex toy to play with in front of him. about 30 bucks.
5. a real doll. 5700 bucks
6. ipod mp3 player. 300 bucks.
7. cd and mp3 shower companion. 200 bucks.
8. gta3 for ps2 or halo for xbox.
9. the ulimate remote control. 300 bucks.

-JD

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Fire In The Bunghole
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "fire.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "fire.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


Courtesy Of Steve-O

Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Some callers to Boston's major homeless shelters became angry that their requests to help out this year on Thanksgiving and Christmas day were rejected because the shelters have too many volunteers on those days (yet too few on the other 363 days a year). A Boston Globe reporter found that volunteers even try to cajole officials to bump them up the waiting list (170 on one shelter's list, which started accumulating names in August), but express disappointment at suggestions that they help at less "popular" (and less prestigious) suburban shelters. [Boston Globe, 11-29-02]
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"University of Tennessee Homecoming Queen"-JIm
Runners-up
"Gators suck... but But Grandmas Swallow"-Jared
"Daaamn gator left me with one good finger"-DirtBall



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