|JOKE OF THE
When the ark's door was closed Noah
called a meeting with all the animals. "Listen up!" Noah said with a
demanding voice. "There will be NO sex on this trip. All of you
males take off your penis and hand it in to my sons. I will sit over
there and write you a receipt. After we see land, you can get your
penis back." After about a week Mr. Rabbit stormed into his wife's
cage and was very excited. "Quick!" he said, "Get on my shoulders
and look out the window to see if there is any land out there!" Mrs.
Rabbit got onto his shoulders, looked out the window, and said,
"Sorry, no land "Damn!", exclaimed Mr. Rabbit. This went on every
day until Mrs. Rabbit got fed up with him. Mrs. Rabbit asked, "What
is the matter with you? You know it will rain for forty days and
nights. Only after the water has drained will we be able to see
land. But why are you acting so excited every day?" "Look!", said
Mr. Rabbit with a sly expression, as he held out a piece of paper,
"I GOT THE HORSE'S RECEIPT!!
|SITES OF THE
-How to fuck a chicken. |
Mystery! -Spears' Breasts.
it to the extreme!! |
Guide -To Porn! |
-Game of the week. |
|Free Games! |
|I can tell you how to get
free games from places like Blockbuster and Hollywood Video. When I
say free games I don't mean "rental". I mean "FREE GAMES" for you to
keep forever. All you have to do is rent a game you really want,(NFL
BLITZ 2002), take it home, exchange the game in the case,(NFL BLITZ
2002),for a shitty game you have that you don't like,(CRASH
BANDICOOT),and take the game,(CRASH BANDICOOT),back to Blockbuster
or Hollywood video. Sometimes there is a barcode on the CD or
Cartridge itself and you may have to exchange that too. Easy. Just
use a razor. You can just tape it on the game your putting in the
case. Just use really clear tape. So after all that, you take the
game back and tell them the wrong game was in the case. They'll
apologize. Their mistake. And you've got a free game and a free
rental. Just don't do it more than once at the same place in the
same 6 months or so. Have fun, be safe, and enjoy the game. |
Q: submitted by
Hey JD, I have been a fellow sublimer for a little
over a year now and I'm 19 and when I fuck my girlfriend to hard she
gets a stomach ache and I haven't been able to find out the reason
for this but she does like rough sex and is into practically
everything except anal. I have no idea what or why she gets these
stomach aches but she says its because I hit something inside of
her. I would like to know if you could answer my question because
you seem to have a answer for everything and everything I've red has
worked. Please let me know. Thanks,
i have a good amount
of experience with this problem and luckily i've already dealt with
many of the solutions. first lets go over all the possible causes.
you could be hitting her bladder, urethra or uterus with your penis
which can cause bruising and discomfort. if this is the case it is
often related to the position you were in when having intercourse.
if you can narrow it down to just a couple of positions that cause
her to have cramps afterwards you can just avoid those positions.
you could also be annoying a full bladder. if this is the case just
make sure she always empties her bladder before sex and not after.
if she is still getting cramps she needs to see a gynocologist to
get this medication to take after having sex. it will keep all those
"parts" from getting swollen or having an infection. the other thing
that could be happening is that she has not "dropped the kids off at
the pool" in a couple of days and her poop is crammed in their like
concrete. you go in and have some rough sex and it is like the
berlin wall coming down (only this time no one is paying 50 bucks
for a piece of it!). if this is the case try and avoid sex when she
hasn't gone number two in awhile. the last thing i can think of is
that you are using either too little or too much lube. if you use
too little all the friction on the inside can cause discomfort
before and after. if you use too much you slide in and out too
easily and can end up going to deep..especially when having rough
sex. i like to put some lube on my johnson and then wipe the excess
of with my hand. that way there is a nice thin film of lube that
seems to be just about perfect. i think if you can narrow down the
cause then you got the solution and it is smooth sailing from there.
good luck. ;-)
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|-- A Southern California
animal abuser convicted of fatal sexual assaults on sheep has
been sentenced to prison. A judge on Monday sentenced James
Donald Ray, 39, to three years and four months behind bars for
sexually molesting three sheep, two of which died. Ray, who
was unemployed, faced a maximum 15-year sentence because of
his lengthy list of previous convictions. Ray was caught
during a stakeout by the sheriff's department last August
after he climbed into a pen and tried to have sex with a
female sheep in Lakeside, a rural suburb 13 miles east of San
Diego. The sheep lived on a high school agricultural program's
farm. Ray admitted the sexual assaults during testimony in
which he cried constantly. But his attorney contended the
assaults didn't technically fall under the state's definition
of animal cruelty, which implies a specific intention to hurt
an animal. The jury rejected that argument.
CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!
This is your chance to
make a difference! Send in the caption that you think best suits
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"I asked to fuck a chick
not suck a dick - damn cellular phone!"-Greg
"Frederico often wonders how his life would have been different
if he had never been an alter boy, but alas, he is still happy.! "
"Oprah gives Dr. Phil a dose of rational-emotive strap-on
"Another future Democratic Presidential canidate
rubs up on the black opinion support polls for his campaign" -John