For The Week Of 12/24/01
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more Jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

When the ark's door was closed Noah called a meeting with all the animals. "Listen up!" Noah said with a demanding voice. "There will be NO sex on this trip. All of you males take off your penis and hand it in to my sons. I will sit over there and write you a receipt. After we see land, you can get your penis back." After about a week Mr. Rabbit stormed into his wife's cage and was very excited. "Quick!" he said, "Get on my shoulders and look out the window to see if there is any land out there!" Mrs. Rabbit got onto his shoulders, looked out the window, and said, "Sorry, no land "Damn!", exclaimed Mr. Rabbit. This went on every day until Mrs. Rabbit got fed up with him. Mrs. Rabbit asked, "What is the matter with you? You know it will rain for forty days and nights. Only after the water has drained will we be able to see land. But why are you acting so excited every day?" "Look!", said Mr. Rabbit with a sly expression, as he held out a piece of paper, "I GOT THE HORSE'S RECEIPT!!

SITES OF THE WEEK
Chicken Sex -How to fuck a chicken.
Britney Mystery! -Spears' Breasts.
Mutilation -Taking it to the extreme!!
Girls Guide -To Porn!
Asteroids -Game of the week.
TIPS & TRICKS
Free Games!
I can tell you how to get free games from places like Blockbuster and Hollywood Video. When I say free games I don't mean "rental". I mean "FREE GAMES" for you to keep forever. All you have to do is rent a game you really want,(NFL BLITZ 2002), take it home, exchange the game in the case,(NFL BLITZ 2002),for a shitty game you have that you don't like,(CRASH BANDICOOT),and take the game,(CRASH BANDICOOT),back to Blockbuster or Hollywood video. Sometimes there is a barcode on the CD or Cartridge itself and you may have to exchange that too. Easy. Just use a razor. You can just tape it on the game your putting in the case. Just use really clear tape. So after all that, you take the game back and tell them the wrong game was in the case. They'll apologize. Their mistake. And you've got a free game and a free rental. Just don't do it more than once at the same place in the same 6 months or so. Have fun, be safe, and enjoy the game.
ASK DOCTOR JD

Q: submitted by Bo

Hey JD, I have been a fellow sublimer for a little over a year now and I'm 19 and when I fuck my girlfriend to hard she gets a stomach ache and I haven't been able to find out the reason for this but she does like rough sex and is into practically everything except anal. I have no idea what or why she gets these stomach aches but she says its because I hit something inside of her. I would like to know if you could answer my question because you seem to have a answer for everything and everything I've red has worked. Please let me know. Thanks,

A:
i have a good amount of experience with this problem and luckily i've already dealt with many of the solutions. first lets go over all the possible causes. you could be hitting her bladder, urethra or uterus with your penis which can cause bruising and discomfort. if this is the case it is often related to the position you were in when having intercourse. if you can narrow it down to just a couple of positions that cause her to have cramps afterwards you can just avoid those positions. you could also be annoying a full bladder. if this is the case just make sure she always empties her bladder before sex and not after. if she is still getting cramps she needs to see a gynocologist to get this medication to take after having sex. it will keep all those "parts" from getting swollen or having an infection. the other thing that could be happening is that she has not "dropped the kids off at the pool" in a couple of days and her poop is crammed in their like concrete. you go in and have some rough sex and it is like the berlin wall coming down (only this time no one is paying 50 bucks for a piece of it!). if this is the case try and avoid sex when she hasn't gone number two in awhile. the last thing i can think of is that you are using either too little or too much lube. if you use too little all the friction on the inside can cause discomfort before and after. if you use too much you slide in and out too easily and can end up going to deep..especially when having rough sex. i like to put some lube on my johnson and then wipe the excess of with my hand. that way there is a nice thin film of lube that seems to be just about perfect. i think if you can narrow down the cause then you got the solution and it is smooth sailing from there. good luck. ;-)

-JD

 
Clip OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Al Qaeda Ambulance!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "ambulance.mpeg" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "ambulance.mpeg" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


I have fallen and cant get up!


Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
-- A Southern California animal abuser convicted of fatal sexual assaults on sheep has been sentenced to prison. A judge on Monday sentenced James Donald Ray, 39, to three years and four months behind bars for sexually molesting three sheep, two of which died. Ray, who was unemployed, faced a maximum 15-year sentence because of his lengthy list of previous convictions. Ray was caught during a stakeout by the sheriff's department last August after he climbed into a pen and tried to have sex with a female sheep in Lakeside, a rural suburb 13 miles east of San Diego. The sheep lived on a high school agricultural program's farm. Ray admitted the sexual assaults during testimony in which he cried constantly. But his attorney contended the assaults didn't technically fall under the state's definition of animal cruelty, which implies a specific intention to hurt an animal. The jury rejected that argument.

 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the caption that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"I asked to fuck a chick not suck a dick - damn cellular phone!"-Greg
Runners-up
"Frederico often wonders how his life would have been different if he had never been an alter boy, but alas, he is still happy.! " -Scott
"Oprah gives Dr. Phil a dose of rational-emotive strap-on therapy." -John
"Another future Democratic Presidential canidate rubs up on the black opinion support polls for his campaign" -John M

Archived Issues:
|06-18-2001 |06-25-2001 |07-02-2001 |07-09-2001 |07-16-2001 |
|07-23-2001 |07-30-2001 |08-06-2001 |08-13-2001 |08-20-2001 |
|08-27-2001 |09-03-2001 |09-10-2001 |09-17-2001 |09-23-2001 |
|10-01-2001 |10-08-2001 |10-15-2001 |10-22-2001 |10-30-2001|
|11-05-2001 |11-12-2001 |11-17-2001 |11-24-2001|12-03-2001 |
|12-10-2001 ||12-17-2001




[ back to sublime main ]


Show your support..
Suggest SublimeTimes to a friend!

To (email address):
Your name: NOTE: Please put a name your friend will recognize