For The Week Of 12/25/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


I phoned up a really gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't BELIEVE it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic.

"Wow! I said, I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!" She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge!

"Yeah," I said, just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying she thought tubby bald men were cute.

"Anyway," she said, "I've put on a couple of pounds myself!"

So I hung up on the fat bitch.

SITES OF THE WEEK
Christmas Carols -Ding Fries
Norad -Tracking Santa
Jet Man -Flies
Donald Goes Ape Shit -On Rosie!
ELLA-Bueaty In Scars!
Christmas Carol -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Foosball!
When playing foosball at bars or anywhere where they charge you to play it, use this simple trick and save your quarters for something more useful, like dropping a night’s worth of Journey songs on the jukebox. When no one is watching, slip two plastic sugar caddies side-by-side inside the goals, sitting snugly at the bottom. When a goal is scored, the ball will fall into the sugar caddies, and not into the slot below, facilitating unlimited foosball bliss. Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by B
I’m having a problem with hickeys, and I was wondering if you could tell me how to get rid of them—fast.

A:

My Guide to Miraculous Cures gave me a fast fix for hickeys—right between “Cure Cancer in Four Short Weeks“ and “Heal a Broken Bone Overnight.“ Kidding. Les marks des passions are caused by internal bleeding when the subcutaneous (look it up) blood vessels burst under too much pressure. Icing the area down right away might lessen the discoloration, but nothing short of a turtleneck, some pancake concealer (matching your skin tone, of course), or an ascot will effectively mask the mark. There’s also the idea that vitamin K cream will help your body break down and reabsorb the blood from a bruise. Hey, it’s worth a try. But until someone invents a fast and fabulous “Hickey B-Gone“ balm, why not consider prevention the best cure; tell Helen Hoover to ease up on the suction action and perhaps suggest that she refine her technique on other, less visible parts of your body.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Dick In A Box!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "movie.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "movie.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
MADRID (Reuters) - Traces of cocaine can be found on 94 percent of banknotes in Spain, a country that has one of the world's highest rates of users, according to a study published on Sunday. The 100 notes tested were collected in gyms, supermarkets and pharmacies across Spain, where increased affluence and falling street prices have made the drug more and more accessible. Cocaine now sells for as little as 60 euros (40 pounds) a gram, or 5 euros ($7) a line, and it is regularly used by 1.6 percent of Spaniards, up from 0.9 percent in 1999, a government report said this month. Law enforcement agencies say cocaine is getting cheaper and more popular in Europe because of efforts to boost production by Colombian paramilitaries and rebels who need money for weapons. Spain is a major entry point to Europe for the smugglers. It was not clear how many of the notes had been used to snort cocaine and how many had picked up traces from other bills, according to the study by the Sailab laboratory, published in the daily El Mundo.
 
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This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"LAWN AND ORDER"-Glenio
Runners-up
"That's the coolest cruiser idea I've ever seen... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...NAAHT!!"-Brian
"Fuckin' cut backs!"-Bob
"Bad Boys, Bad Boys...What'cha gonna do....What'cha gonna do when they mow for you?"-Eric
"I'll be back from Krispy Kreme in about an hour."-Hinson



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