For The Week Of 12/26/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

It's a beautiful, warm spring morning and a man and his wife are spending the day at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. He's wearing his normal jeans and a T-shirt. The zoo is not very busy this morning.As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large hairy gorilla. Noticing the woman, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, and holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), he grunts and pounds his chest with his free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, thinks this is funny. He suggests that his wife teases the poor fellow some more. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at him, and play along. She does, and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She does, and Mr. Gorilla is about to tear the bars down. "Now try lifting your dress up your thighs and sort of fan it at him." he says. This drives the gorilla absolutely crazy and now he's doing flips. Then the husband nabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her into the cage with the gorilla and slams the cage door shut. "Now, tell HIM you have a headache . . . "

SITES OF THE WEEK
Tampon Christmas -WTF??
Dancing Penis -Martin reincarnation?
Top 50 -Albums Of The Year!!
Top Pictures-Of The Year!
Howard Stern -New Digs:)
Rudolph -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Walmart!
Need cash for your returns at Wal-Mart and don't like those pesky gift cards? Wal-Mart only gives a cash refund for certain items, specifically unopened items totaling less than $50, otherwise you receive a gift card. However, if you ask the service desk associate to place your refund directly on a money order instead of on a gift card you can take that money order back later and return it for the cash you need. —Brian D.

contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Rob
Sometimes when I'm in the shower I masturbate by spraying my clitoris with the water from my detachable showerhead, but I've heard from a friend that this can be dangerous? Is it really risky?
A:
No, it's perfectly safe -- not to mention incredibly pleasurable, especially if your sprayer has various settings (high, low, pulsate, etc.), so you can experiment with different types of pressure. And, while it's a great way to get off when you're solo, you can also spice up sex sessions with your man by inviting him to share in your bath bliss. Just be sure to keep the water temperature tepid. You don't want to burn that supersensitive region.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Mortal Kombat!!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "mkombat.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "mkombat.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
HOLLAND - Pastor Thomas J. Crouse is looking for a few good heterosexual men. Crouse, pastor of Holland Congregational Church, is not running a dating service. He is sponsoring a "Mr. Heterosexual" contest, where contestants will tear Oprah magazines, play "Name that Potato Chip" blindfolded, discuss the best use of duct tape and display a talent. All for $100 and a "Mr. Heterosexual" trophy.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"That's a HUGE Bitch!" -Tom
Runners-up
"Stop smoking that Ming Lee, it will stunt your growth."-Greg
"Yao Ming is my daddy"!"-Cedric



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