For The Week Of 12/27/2010
Happy with all the porn you are taking off Sublime… time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small. The husband comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds.” Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. “How long will this take?” she asks. “They’ll grow slightly larger every day over a period of years,” he replies. The wife stops. “Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?” The husband shrugs. “Why not, it worked for your butt, didn’t it?”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Rate My -Vajazzle!
Photos of -Hells Angels!
Unemployment -Jesus!
The Daily -Patdown!
Where Do I Put -The TP!
Super Deep Throat -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Get Work Done on an Airplane

First, if you don't have any self-discipline you won't be able to work on a plane. Full stop. Planes are loud. Space is cramped. If you can't get over this and lock your mind on a task, then you won't get anything done. And let's be honest – if you don't have this sort of discipline, it's not the plane's fault.

Second, there are only certain kinds of work you can do on the plane by dint of environmental factors. Short flights aren't worth powering up the laptop – you can't get traction on anything before being asked to power it down. Anything that requires an internet connection is going to be problematic. In my opinion you need a good 90 minutes or more to really get something done.

In terms of tasks, flights are good times to clear out email, get caught up on reading, or – my favorite – to get started on a big project that requires some lengthy thinking/writing time. I usually try to stick to one or two tasks max, but normally long and important ones. My reason for this is simple: when I'm in a plane I'm away from the office. I'm away from all the REAL disruptions that suck down my time. People who moan about the noise on the plane are missing the point. Plane noise is background noise. It's not directed at you, and for that reasons it's a hell of a lot easier to shut out than people turning up at your door or calling you on the phone when you're at your post. I look forward to my routine two-hour flights and my quarterly transatlantic trips as mini retreats. The last trip I made across the Atlantic (7.5 hours of work time) I completed a long-term strategic plan to add 5 million euro in revenue in 5 years and created a half-day training session on data analysis for our client development teams. It would have taken me two weeks to do each of those things in my office.

And, finally, you need a good battery. I get 8 hours off my Dell extended battery with wifi off, all extensions/gadgets shut down (I have a batch file that gets me into Airplane Mode!), and screen brightness at absolute minimum.

In summary, for me it's all about focus. But then, isn't that what most of life is all about.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submitted by sg

My girlfriend wants me to buy sex toys. She has never used them before. What should we do?

Is it normal for me to feel threatened or insecure?

A:
A little bit, but you shouldn't be so worried. Sex toys are meant to spice up sex, not make it worse. My husband and I both use them on a regular basis, both on our own and with each other.

If she wants to open her sexual mind a little, i say go for it. figure out how they work and use them to please her before you take over. Get something she can use while you are not available.

Overall, I would just think of this as a good thing...seriously.

She's your ex for a reason. Forget about her pussy and the things inside it, and move on :)

-Tina

AskmyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Fuck These Hurdles


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
AMHERST, MASS. — A man wearing a Bob Dylan backstage pass who ordered 178 pizzas from a Massachusetts pizza parlor but never picked them up has agreed to hand over the dough.

A lawyer for the New Jersey man says his client is a "decent enough" guy with no criminal record who felt bad about the prank. Attorney Sean Cleary did not reveal his client's name and did not say how much he'll repay. The pizzas he ordered were worth about $4,000. Workers at Antonio's in the college town of Amherst stayed until 5:30 a.m. on Nov. 20 making the pies.

The man ordered them shortly after a Dylan concert at the nearby University of Massachusetts. He said he would return in several hours and deliver them to Dylan's crew. But he never returned and the manager called police. Some pizzas were given away, but most were thrown out.
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"You know, T…I'd love to see what you're packing." -Martin

Runner-up
"I pity the fool who didn't buy me a choo-choo!" -Lars



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