For The Week Of 12/29/2003
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Three couples want to be married in a prestigious church. In order to do this, the minister explains, they must abstain from sex for 30 days and then report back to him. Thiry days later, the first couple shows up and the preacher asks them how it went. “Well, it was tough, but we really want this, so we made it.” “Great, see my secretary and she will set chapel reservations for you.” The second couple comes in shortly after that and says, “We had a real hard time but…we did it.” “Great, see my secretary,” says the preacher. Then the third couple comes in and the minister asks them how it went. The man says, “It was really tough. We made it until day 28, and then…well, she dropped a can of corn on the floor, bent over to pick it up, she was wearing a mini skirt and no panties, and I couldn’t help it. I nailed her right there.” “You realize you are not allowed to get married in this church now, right?” the minister asks. “Yeah,” the man replies. “That’s OK. We’re not allowed to shop at that Safeway anymore either.”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Jackie Stalone -Her New Venture!
Nipple Tweaking Fun -Good Times!
Phrases That Make Your Blood Boil! -Good Read!
Personality Profile Game -Which Actor Are You!
Embarassing Stories -Send Your Best One to Sublime. Top Twenty Get A Tshirt!
Becoming A DJ -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Pay Per View!
Order Vince McMahon’s next pay-per-view assault on American popular culture, and call the cable company somewhere in the middle of it. Complain that you’re losing signal every 10 minutes for about two minutes at a time, and that it’s interfering with your thorough enjoyment of the program. They’ll remove the charge from your account, and you’ll get to watch greasy meatheads flick each others’ nuts for free.
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ASK TINA

Q: submited by Jane
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. We get really close sometimes and then I feel so safe and connected to him... but then he pulls away. We'll spend 4 days together and it's wonderful, but then we won't see each other for 4 days -- and during that time, we'll only have brief conversations, if any. It's like feast or famine. I never ask about it because it's not like I want to be with someone every second of the day, but at the same time, I want to stay connected with him. Please help me understand.

A:
I think there may be some simple reasons for his behavior. You talk about how wonderful your time together is; it sounds like the two of you are engaging in some truly grand activities, i.e., you aren't getting together to file his taxes, clean his bathroom, and argue with the apathetic twerp at the Department of Motor Vehicles. However, these are all things that he needs to get done, and he probably has the good sense not to drag you through these boring, mundane, thankless tasks. He might also want some time with his friends. This isn't because he likes them better than you, nor is he necessarily doing things that he doesn't want you to see. His friends probably just want to spend some time with him. And as much as you may like his friends, you don't want them along on your romantic evenings. And before you begin to worry about your place in his mind relative to his friends, remember this: with four days on and four days off, you're getting as much time as all of his other friends combined.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


I Get No Respect!
 
 

to view clip: right click flash and choose "save target as" option. save the file "resp.mpg" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "resp.mpg" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




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STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
NAIROBI: Florence was momentarily flustered when she was interrupted while downloading blue movies in one of Nairobi's ubiquitous Internet cafes, but she quickly regained her composure, and even admitted what she was up to. "Mmm... I am downloading something -- pornography ," she admitted. "This is not what I usually do on the Internet, but sometimes I enjoy viewing the pictures and movies," she added. Most of the clients, aged between 15 and 35, sitting at the Rajocyber.com cafe's 20 or so computer terminals seemed to be using the Internet for the same purpose and were understandably uncomfortable in the presence of a curious reporter. Recent years have seen an explosion in the number of Internet cafes in Kenya's capital. Connection charges are an affordable one shilling (about one US cent) per minute, even if connection speeds can be frustratingly slow. "The cafe started off with just a few customers, mainly foreigners, but currently we record a minimum of 500 to 600 people daily during weekdays, and on the weekends the number decreases to about 300 to 400 per day" explained Denis Ouma, one of the cafe's employees. "Older people rarely visit our Internet cafe. I do not know the reason behind it, but I guess it is because they think the Internet is mainly entertainment meant for youths ," he added. "I believe it is a wrong perception. There is a lot one can learn from the Internet apart from just entertainment," he noted. Ouma said most of his customers used the technology for online chat, e-mail and downloading music -- and pornography . It was rare to see clients connect for research or business, he added.
 
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"This guy thinks that Santa pulls up an 81 Ford F-150."-Rich
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"99 bottles of beer on the tree...!"-Mark
"I'm dreaming of a white trash christmas"-Slippy



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