For The Week Of 12/31/2007
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A guy walks into a sperm bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and orders her to open the vault. She says, "But, sir, it's just a sperm bank!" "Open it now!" he demands. She opens the vault, and it's full of test tube samples. "Take one and drink it," says the guy. "But it's sperm!" she pleads. "Do it!" So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well," he continues. The nurse does as she's told. Finally, after four samples the man takes off his ski mask. It's her husband! "See?" he says. "Was it that bad?"

SITES OF THE WEEK
10 Worst -Realtor Headshots!
Sexiest -Female Athletes!
Scientific Breakthroughsof 2007!
Toy -Recalls!
New Years 2008 -Watch All Over!
Bullet Bill!-Game Of The Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
10 ways to improve sex life!
1. OJ's Not Just for Glove Wearin' Vitamin C's a perfect fit for boosting your pleasure. Popping a couple thousand milligrams a day will improve your blood flow (making for stiffer, longer erections for men and riper Tweety Birds for ladies); and this potent little antioxidant will also work hard to take down any free radicals that try to damage the cells in your private parts – C's your own, personal sex brigade. 2. Couples Stretch Stretching your muscles is great for increasing flexibility and helping you achieve some of those positions you've only been able to read about (what is "Skin the Cat," anyway?). Stretching with your partner has the benefits of 1. learning more about each others' bodies, 2. testing each others' limits and developing deeper trust and 3. getting good visuals while you lengthen. Start off by trying this simple stretch for your hips and back: Sit cross-legged, facing each other; grab each other at the elbows; one of you leans back (while the other one supports); and hold it for 15-30 seconds. Switch. Now hop in bed and reap the benefits of your work! 3. Sunflower Seeds Aren't Just For the Birds Sprinkle these seeds on a salad or grab a handful as a snack and feel your energy soar. Sunflower seeds are packed with B1, an energy boosting vitamin. Energy boosting, as in more endurance in the sack. B1 is also responsible for making sure your nerves and muscles work together and for keeping your ticker strong – both essential bodily functions for crazy sex. Foods also high in B1: tuna, black beans, asparagus and spinach – ten bucks Olive Oyl was one satisfied ho'. 4. Go Nuts Nuts are chock full of B3, a vitamin that aids in beauty, emotional stability and energy. B3 is one of those vitamins responsible for freeing the energy from your food so that it can be used by your body. For sex. High energy = good sex. B3 also increases blood flow (we love those hard-ons!), controls your blood sugar (because who wants to sleep with a moody monster?) and helps your nervous system function properly (so you can tingle all over). Enjoy these treats in moderation, as they're also high in fat. 5. Throw out the Cow Substitute your regular milk for soy and reap the benefits of this magical bean. Besides being high in B vitamins and good for your heart, soy helps the ladies get lubed up. Soy adheres to a woman's estrogen receptors, which determine how much lubrication her vagina needs. A little more soy means a little more lube. You'll make your man think he's turning you on faster, giving him more confidence, and, dare we say, inspiration in bed. 6. The Reason they're Red Hot Add some spice to your day by enhancing your meals with chili peppers. Chili pepper's another food to help your blood circulation and it also stimulates your nerve endings, making for more pleasure in your pounce. 7. Take a Walk Even if you're not a hardcore exercise fanatic, doing something as simple as walking two miles a day can improve your sex life. Besides making it easier for you to move around in bed, people who workout get hornier. An Italian study of men and ED showed that the more men exercised, the better their wangers performed – a simple walk cut any risk of ED by 70%. And they're not alone, ladies. Some science types at UT Austin studied women pre and post exercise. After watching a porn flick, the physically active women had 169% greater blood flow to their vaginas compared to when they were inactive. Getting your heart pulsing gets the rest of you pulsing. 8. Throw out the Cow II Next time you think of ordering a burger, think of ordering one made out of fish instead of beef. Fish is high in Omega 3, a nutrient otherwise missing from our American diets. Scientific evidence shows that it helps with brain function (making for smarter sex), staving off depression (making for happier sex) and improving cholesterol and blood circulation (making for mmmmmmmmmer sex). If you can't bear to let go of your beef, try popping a pill; Omega 3 can also be found in your vitamin aisle. 9. Cut Down On the Booze Almost everyone's had the unfortunate experience of a not-so-hot night in bed after knocking back a few too many: She needed to fake orgasm because she just couldn't get aroused and he, unfortunately, couldn't fake orgasm so he had to face his limp willy. Face the sad, sad truth: You don't recover from a hard night of partying like you used to. The longer you prolong the beginning of the end, the lonelier your own end will be. Take care of yourself now so you can take care of your partner later. 10. Masturbate You hear it right: go to town on yourself! The better you know your body and the more in tune you are with your "feel good receptors," the more you can help your partner bring you to that place of ecstasy. You know how your doctor recommends you exercise three to five times a week? Just add this onto your regular routine. (Except you might want to wait until you leave the gym.)
Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Los
I have an urge to drink my own urine. Is this weird? Are there any harmful effects I should be aware of?

A:
What you are doing is entertaining the thought of a fetish. Is it weird? To some, perhaps. But fetishes are about exploring acts that are taboo or unconventional -- and this includes urine drinking. The good news is that urine, for the most part, is made up of water, but it can also contain traces of alcohol and sodium (amongst other things). It’s important to keep in mind, however, that the more water you drink, the more diluted your urine will be. Unless you have any infections (like a UTI) or STDs (like herpes, chlamydia or HIV), it should be relatively safe to taste your own urine. So, drink away, but I don’t recommend making it a habit or using it as a replacement for your required daily water intake.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


David's Magic

 
 


Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Man puts out fire with aunt's XL undies
By RAPHAEL G. SATTER, Associated Press Writer
LONDON - From baggy briefs to the ultimate hotpants: A British woman's underwear saved the day by doubling as an emergency fire blanket when her kitchen caught fire. John Marsey and his cousin Darren Lines were frying bread in Jenny Marsey's kitchen in Hartlepool, northeast England, on Sunday when their meal caught fire. Lines grabbed the nearest thing from a pile of laundry to put it out: his aunt's billowing, powder blue, size XL underpants. He ran them under the faucet and tossed them onto the flames, successfully smothering the fire, a spokesman for the Cleveland Fire Brigade said, speaking on condition of anonymity in line with department policy. Lines' swift thinking saved the kitchen — but left his aunt's underwear slightly scorched. "It could have been a lot worse," she said. "My family could have been in hospital but the knickers saved the day. I'm just grateful to the boys." The fire official said the general principle of using a large, wet cloth to cover a grease fire was a sound one. As for using underwear: "Clearly it depends on what size you are — but I don't want to go there."
 
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